The Optimist

fifteen

Nadia's mom on the side! (Or above if you're on the app!) Her name is Kajol in real life and in the story she's American, not Indian! -Mo

Nadia

. . .

I sit on the ledge alone in the hallway. I didn't bother to chase after Jacob because I know he's going to bring my book back. Hopefully. What I don't know, however, is what to do when I get home without reading. Maybe if I take a chance and meet up with Jacob today, he'll hand over the book and I can be out of his smile-freak like forever.

I smile a bit at the though of my book in my hand. Any book. Just to be holding one, boring or not, makes me somewhat happy. Sick parents should bring me down, I know, but Jacob told me to be grateful that they're alive, smile at them and tell them I love them everyday.

No. I love them and I'm fine.

He said having a brother, gay or not, is another thing to be grateful for. He's not dead, suicidal, or mental and I should be happy to have a sibling like him. I slump off the ledge wedged in the wall and as soon as my feet hit the ground, my face plants with a chest.

I step back, mumbling an inaudible "Sorry." before turning the opposite way. Whoever I bumped into grabs my arm and pulled me back. "You again." He smiled.

Jaxton.

"Um, yeah." I say, at loss of words like always. Darn you, anti-socialness!

"What happened with you at prom?" He sounds genuinely interested, but I only give him minimal detail. "Date left. Danced with ex. Went to the amusement park." I sum up to him, all rushed and barely comprehensible.

"Jacob? He'd never do that. He's-"

"Crest field, Moore. Get to class now!" When I hear Principal Bickley's voice behind us, I shake from Jaxton's grip and rush to French ll. I hear Jaxton and Principle Bickley get into it, and being curious about everything, I slide behind an unused wall, craning my neck forward to listen better.

"This is our new bathroom break time you granted us!" Jaxton argues, referring to the new bathroom break schedule followed by the whole school. It's weird, because after lunch everyone used to use them but now no one does. Mostly because the administrators of our grade level are in there, eavesdropping on conversations and directing bathroom traffic with more force.

"No, it isn't for you! You and Cresfield were obliviously using it to talk, but you're getting the major for aguing back. Case closed, get to class Moore." I watch as Principal Bickley rubs his fingers through the remains of his balding hair, then sighs, walking opposites ways from Jaxton.

Jaxton sighs and goes back his own way, then the hallway is completely empty, so I walk to class. Ms. Nesburn, too busy to notice my entrance, continues to scold one of the jerky jocks for, I assume, a crass joke. It's always the case. And always the same jock, Rayan.

"Mr. Lopez, one more joke like that and I'm going to ban you from this room! Do you understand me?" The aging teacher threatens. He twirls one of his long braids around his index finger as I plop in a seat in the near back. He laughs menacingly.

"You can't ban me from your room. This is optional for me, and I'm taking it. I can take myself out, but I won't cause I need it." He says. His brags a crooked smirk before shooing her awat from his desk.

How rude? But he's right, unfortunately.

Advice for the you, never mess with Rayan. He's a heartbreaker, but bis charm level is high up there! He has all kinds of girls wrapped around his fingers! Him and Princeton, like Chresanto, have been in a huge altercation since elementary school, but his time, they didn't make up. Rayan has a spiteful hatred for Jacob for no apparent reason at all. He believes they're in a constant competition named "Battle Of The Best Hair.", made by Rayan himself.

I have no more to say on that subject, or anymore as I listen aimlessly for Ms. Nesburn's voice again.

. . .

"I didn't think you would show up." Jacob smiles as I make my way across the field. It's a little more emptier than my last visit, but that's comforting to me. Less people to impress. I spot the Allegiant book in his hand and snatch it from his grip.

"And I didn't think you would bring my beloved baby back." I reply, hugging the book to my chest as he chuckles.

"Who do you love more? Me or the book?" He interrogates. Is he crazy? That's an oblivious answer, but the poor boy-

"Who ever said I loved you?" I halt he thought and grin as I say that and he does the same. "Me." He replies lamely.

"You're mistaken. I can't love you, but I can love books." I challenge, gazing past his shoulders at the dog trainers. He leans to the side to meet my line of vision again and smirks. "Are you ready to hear it?"

"Hear what?" I say, utterly confused yet again.

"I said it's fine. But, I have better news than loving book and humans and all."

This catches my attention and I meet my gaze to Jacob's. He's smiling like crazy, saying nothing and it makes me kind of impatient. "Well, what?" I ask, openly impatient.

"I need your help." He says jubilantly.

No.

Needing my help is never good news. For anyone. I'm the worst person to work with and create ideas. I slowly shake my head, disagreeing with him before he can further explain the irrational thought.

"No, I'm the last person you'll ever need help from." I admit, almost panicky. With Jacob's social status, it could be anything, from being a date to a party (which he doesn't do often since we started talking. Or, he started talking to me.) to even playing his fake girlfriend.

The last one is impossible.

"Damn it!" Jacob exclaims. "'I need your help and you need mine and that's just how it is, okay?" He shakes his head. I've never seen him so infuriated before, always happy and giving advice. His mood change makes me smile like lunatic for some reason.

"I want you to help me with this little grudge our parents have and if you don't-"

"Then what?" I challenge, boldly. I feel as brave as the characters in Divergent, but the feeling doesn't last long as he shoves his lips to mine suddenly. What the..?

"Sorry." He mumbles, pulling back from the awkward kiss. I don't have time to react as he looks down and smiles, his face burning as he stares in my eyes, but they're not. Get it? His mind isn't with his gaze.

"I'll help you with you're, um, homework. I-if you want? Really Nadia, I'm sorry." He mutters the apology over and over and, just like in the books, I reach up and kiss him again, silencing him. When I pull away from him, shock is the last feeling to ignite. "It's okay, I think." I smile, knowing I'm not the best at relationship sweet talk. It's hilarious.

I can tell Jacob is past happy. He's elated. I stare at my book, waves of shock racing through my body.

My first kiss. My first ever kiss!

"I never thought my first kiss would be with you." He says. "And, I never thought I'd say this either, but-"

"I love you." We say in unison. I mean it too, but I don't know if he feels the same. All the sappy love stories I've read are coming to life slowly, but in the most awkward ways. That's also hilarious.

"We shouldn't be some forbidden lovers from a stupid story that we'll recall on fifty years later, but a pessimist-loving optimistic boy and a optimist-loving pessimistic girl." He laughs and I smile because that's all that comes to mind.

I didn't realize it earlier, but Jacob's changing me.

And I'm changing him.