The Optimist

two

. . .

I could scream right now!

Endless thoughts of the strange boy who's interest suddenly jumped to me swirl mindlessly in my mind. I lay across my four-poster bed, thinking about all the school events that I've successfully survived last week. Then that's when Jacob's words swing into my thoughts.

"Why don't you smile?"

"Can't you at least be positive?

And the strangest of them: "If you're going to be angry at the world, at least have some money."

Suddenly, I think about the money and the milk accident and his Frito Burrito offer. His very presence makes me want to run away (with all my books, of course) and just be away from him in general. He still hasn't gotten the hint that I want to be alone, all by myself! He isn't a stalker, but he strives get the reason behind my standard frown before he dies.

But, it isn't a frown actually, just a tight line across my face if you ask me. Today at lunch, though, he finally told me why he was so curious. I listened.

"My current goal is to make everyone around me happy." He said to me, placing the tip of his tongue on his lip. "It's extremely difficult, you know, with finals and graduation and prom and all, but it's not impossible." He'd told me. Again, he sat across from me at lunch, picking at his dried up, tomato sauce-less pizza. It was another silence after, so I skim over another different book to clear the awkward vibe between us.

Crossed was still missing, and Jacob seemed to have known because he plastered a small smile on his face before slipping the book across the table right before the lunch bell rang. He left without a word, and I found myself smiling and frowning and confused all at once.

I was happy to have my beloved book back, frowning because he had it all the time, and confused about how and why he'd even wanted it. I guess he knew it would make me smile, his number one goal in life.

I didn't, and he frowned. If he could feel other's emotions, he'd know that he'd reached his goal, my smile, and see if others are really moved by his words. I'm the last person who needed his words. I don't need them at all. I'm happy, all by myself.

Me and my books. Paradise. I smile and hear a light knock at my door.

"Come in!" I yell, and in walks Nathan, smiling as always. He stands there and he smile grows wider despite the silent energy in the room. I grow agitated at his lack of communication and sit up in my bed, Crossed lying at the foot of it, closed. Nathan digs his hands in pockets nervously, the smile fading a bit.

"What?" I say, curious to his silent treatment,

"Mom and Dad." He says simply.

I frown spitefully. "What about them?" I say in an agitated tone.

"Well.." He drones. He drops his gaze for the slightest second before picking me up and looking directly in my eyes, a serious look falling over his smooth face. It's the first time I've ever saw that look on his face, and honestly, it scared me. Something's wrong, I sense. "I think they might get a divorce."

I laugh nervously, but I think it comes off more sarcastically to him. "Where'd you get that incredulous accusation?" I ask. He must've been crazy to say that our parents, who were happily married, were permanently separated.

Tracing back to all of the lovey-dovey stares, incredibly lame "adult jokes" that they found absolutely hilarious, and the constant pecks (sometimes full blown kissing sessions), I couldn't see them being apart for more than a full minute. Being separated forever didn't dawn on me, but I'm worried.