The room was so silent one could hear the beating of my heart. The only other sound was the low ticking of the clock hung on the wall opposite to the glass wall. I was seated on the couch beside the glass wall and kept staring out at the never ending tall buildings of New York. Every now and then, my eyes would roam from the buildings, to the traffic on the streets, and back to the man sitting two feet in front of me. Even though my eyes were everywhere, his were trained on me, unmoving, like the eyes of tiger staring at his predator to gauge out their next action.
He was staring at me to gauge out my next emotions.
We have been sitting here in his office for the last 20 minutes and neither of us have spoken anything more than the initial greetings. But he was not even fazed by my behaviour. If I were in his place, I most probably would've killed myself out of irritation.
But he didn't look the slightest bit irritated.
And that irritated me.
"Aren't you going to say something?" I finally broke the silence.
He chuckled and spoke in his deep, husky yet soothing voice, "Isn't that supposed to be my line?"
I sighed. "I'm sorry Andrew. I don't even know why I'm here."
Andrew looked at me and smiled.
"Why don't we start from the basic question then?"
I knew what the basic question was and I replied my usual answer, "I don't know how I am."
He nodded and looked down at my hands placed on my lap. I realised I was fiddling with my fingers and immediately stopped doing that.
He looked back up into my eyes and spoke, "They are back, aren't they?"
I hung my head and closed my eyes. And then I whispered in a low voice, "I lied to you. They never left."
There was a moment of silence.
I looked up and zeroed my eyes into Andrew's blue ones. I searched his eyes for any sign of anger for my lie, but there were none. In fact, they were still understanding as they were the first time I looked into those eyes, one year back. They were the most beautiful pair of eyes I had ever seen, until I locked eyes with a pair of forest green ones.
I shook my head. Don't think of Chris now.
"Aren't you mad at me? Aren't you going to scold me?" I asked.
My head was still hung low. I heard his chair scrape backwards and then footsteps coming towards me. He sat on my left and put his hand on my shoulder. And then, turning me towards him, he lifted my face up with his index finger on my chin.
"I can't be mad at you little one. You make it hard for anyone to be mad at you, with those big hazel eyes. And also, it's part of my job." He winked at me and cracked a smile.
Inspite of my gloomy mood, I smiled back. His smile was contagious.
"See! That smile! That damn smile!" He gushed like a schoolgirl and I finally cracked and let out a loud laugh.
When I sobered up, I looked at him and said, "Thank you. You can make me laugh."
"The man who gets you will be so lucky, Jas." He said.
I gasped dramatically. "Are you giving up on me, Dr.Andrew Reynolds?"
Andrew laughed and said, "Well, it breaks my heart but what can I say? I'm ready to sacrifice my love for you if it means you're going to be happy." He even wiped imaginary tears from his eyes for extra effects.
I burst out laughing.
I met Dr.Andrew Reynolds a year back in the parking lot of the grocery store. I was in the middle of a panic attack and was crouched low at the passenger side of a car. My eyes were closed, with tears streaming down my cheeks, and I was trying to control my breathing.
That was how he found me.
It turns out the car was his. He pulled me to my feet and led me inside his car. I was so vulnerable at that moment I couldn't even decipher the fact that I was being led into a stranger's car. But he turned out to be an angel in disguise. He helped me regain my normal breathing and calmed me down. When I was fine, I thanked him. He offered to drive me home. I hesitated but I obliged. I thought I was making a huge mistake. He could have been a dangerous guy. But the way he looked at me and helped me calm down, the worry amd concern in his eyes, and the understanding in them, I felt like I could trust him.
Turns out, he is a psychiatrist.
He helped me throughout the course of last one year. He helped me to calm myself down during panic attacks and during nightmares. It was because of him that I stopped getting panic attacks. His methods worked. But the nightmares still remained. It wasn't his fault though. I lied to him that they were over, when they were far from being over.
I came back to him because I knew I couldn't live like this. I couldn't live with these nightmares.
"We have to do something about these nightmares little one." Andrew spoke to me, bringing me out my trance.
I didn't reply. I didn't know what to say. No one besides him knows about my nightmares. Mom and Dad thinks I recovered from them. Maybe if my nightmares made me scream again like before, they would know. But they don't anymore. They just live me panicking and afraid.
I looked at the clock and realised I had spent 2 hours here. Shit.
"Oh God! I took up so much of your time. I'm so sorry Andrew." I said and got off the couch.
Andrew got up along with me and said, "No you didn't. You know you're my favourite patient. I can make an exception for you." He winked at me.
I smiled. There was a time when I used to have a tiny teeny bit of crush on him. But when we grew more close, I realised he's more like me. And somehow that thought banished my romantic feelings for him. He's more like an elder brother to me now.
"As much as that is flattering, I think I need to go now. I promised Mom I would return back in an hour. It has been two. She's going to eat up my head. I better get going." I said and greeted him goodbye. He chuckled and wishing me luck with my mother, said goodbye.
Walking out into the parking lot of the hospital, I was looking for my phone in my bag. I'm sure there are going to be dozens of missed calls from Mom. She worries too much.
Well you gave her a reason to worry you idiot.
I was just chastising myself for my thoughts when I stumbled upon someone and dropped my phone. Picking it up, I looked up to see the person and froze.
My whole world froze seeing the person I was least expecting to be here. The person I didn't want to find out my past.
"What are you doing here Princess?"
YOU ARE READING
From Cradle to the GraveRomance
For 8 year old Jasmine, 18 year old Chris was her superman. There was nothing more than she liked than spending time with her babysitter. But the day Chris left for college, she felt a part of her going away with him. With time, she forgot all about...