flatline [m.s]

xxii.

"we are seeing other people," he reminds her with a groan.

"then i guess i better start doing the same," she shrugs, about to leave but she turns back one last time. "keep my name off your list, because we are done."

there was something about the way she told him it was over this time, that he knew she wasn't kidding and there definitely wouldn't be any more secret hookups in the on call room.

he leaves his forms and runs out of the conference room, trying to catch up with lia who's walking to the cafeteria.

she enters the cafeteria and walks over to the table where alex and jackson are both sat eating lunch and filling out their forms. mark, of course, follows her over.

"karev, i need you to sleep with me," she says, standing in front of him. "or avery. or both. at least, i'd still only need one form."

"i've got some time," alex smirks, standing up.

"karev, i swear to god, mark threatens. "you sleep with her i'll make sure you don't see the inside of an o.r until you finish your residency."

"alex, you and i both know he can't do that," lia reminds him. "on call room, five minutes."

alex smirks, then smugly grins at mark who is glaring at him, along with jackson. before she leaves, lia picks up a pen from the table and writes alex's name on her currently blank form. she then leaves, and mark follows her.

"please don't do this," he pleads.

"say it," she challenges. "tell me you love me too, and that it's not all in my head. that i'm not the same as all those other names on your list."

"i... i can't," he sighs, looking at the floor. lia doesn't say anything else, she just heads to the on call room to meet alex, leaving mark stood alone.

■ ■ ■

"so, are you and sloan, like a thing?" alex asks from the on call room bed as he watches lia pick up her scrubs and get dressed again.

"we were," she admits, knowing karev wouldn't tell her father. "but we're not anymore. it's definitely over this time."

"this time?" alex raises his brow.

"we were secretly dating, but he doesn't love me," she sighs. "and i gave him exactly what he wanted me for, even after i ended it, sex with no-strings attached. but i can't do it anymore, not when he's still screwing every woman in sight."

"you deserve someone who feels the same way about you, as you do about them," alex tells her, and she can't help but feel guilty for using him to get back at mark. for thinking of mark, the whole time they were together.

■ ■ ■

"now, okay, i have no authority here, but i would like to offer my thoughts on dr. sloan," lia hears bailey saying to the nurses who are gathered round in front of her and mark as she enters the lobby.

"this should be interesting," lia mutters to herself, making the conscious decision to stay and watch this unfold.

"you're doing great," mark leans forward and smiles at bailey.

"uh, this man is a whore, has always been a whore, will probably always be a whore," bailey shrugs, as mark shamefully looks at the ground and lia keeps her eyes firmly on him. "but, i mean, it's not a secret. he's not keeping it hidden. you all knew who he was before you got involved with him. and now you want to be all 'woe is me, he doesn't call me back, he's dating other women'. he's nasty. but he's a doctor here, and a pretty good one. so let us all close our knees and get back to our jobs so he can get back to his job and help the people that really need it."

once bailey finishes her speech, all of the nurses stand there muttering and mumbling amongst themselves.

"disperse!" bailey instructs, and they all do so, apart from lia who remains looking at mark.

when he looks up, his eyes lock with hers and he sees the hurt in her eyes. the hurt he caused. and he soon realises that she heard every word bailey had said about him, and he could tell by her face that she agreed with them.

- - -
you have to force yourselves to open up, to expose ourselves, to offer everything we have and just pray that it's good enough. otherwise, we'll never succeed.
- - -

"i'm done," lia announces, walking into kathleen's office.

"done?" she raises her brow.

"done with mark, and done with therapy," she expands.

"so you're quitting therapy?" kathleen asks.

"i'm not quitting," lia shakes her head. "i just don't need therapy any more. mark's a whore, and he doesn't love me. i finally understand that now."

- - -
we're all trying. it's just no one wants to give up or give in and no one should.
- - -