𝐇𝐈𝐌. | 𝐘𝐁𝐍𝐊

𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 - 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐒.

TAYMOR
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I woke up in confusion, immediately going into panic mode when I noticed the empty spot on the bed, no longer feeling the warmth of Nahmir's body against my mine.

I sat up and scanned the dark room, which showed no traces of Nahmir anywhere. However, the bathroom light was on and the door was closed, so he probably was in there. I let out a sigh of relief, falling back onto the bed.

Although there was a part of me that still worried, I tried not to let it bother me too much. I just hated when he was away from me, especially during a time like now. He was clearly mentally unstable, and there was always a weakness within Nahmir when it came to times like this. He didn't know how to handle them, or himself, and I couldn't help but think the worst because I didn't know what he was doing, and that shit drove me crazy.

Like I said before, Nahmir wasn't necessarily the strongest person, and the fact that he could fall back into old patterns at anytime was scary. I knew how he felt because I went through the same thing at a young age, maybe even a little worse. But instead harming myself, I became angry and harmed others to cope instead. Seven year old Taymor couldn't understand why anyone would want to hurt his parents and take them away from him, and even now, as a fully grown twenty one year old, I was still questioning why the world was so cold. But when you're apart of the problem, you have no time to sit back and reflect, you can only protect others around you from becoming victims of the same things.

This why I wanted to protect Nahmir from everything, including himself if I had to. But maybe it was me who he needed protection from this whole time, maybe I should have stayed away from him knowing the fact that I could hurt him again at any given moment. I just couldn't help but think about who would be there for him if I did leave him alone. Nobody could love and care for Nahmir like I could, so abandoning him during a time like this wasn't an option. He needed someone to understand him, and most importantly, someone who had genuine love for him.

Today was a pretty good day compared to the others. Nahmir had some mood swings every once in a while, but I knew that it was only because he was coming down off of his high, and reality was slowly but surely setting in around him. It was scary to think about because sober and aware Nahmir was hell to deal with. He was more irritable and his mood swings were way more frequent, and most of the time all he did was cry or spend hours pacing and blaming himself for his mothers death and many other things. He had very high highs, and low lows, which didn't always make him the easiest to deal with, but that wasn't going to push me away. I knew how it felt to go through my manic periods alone, or anything in life for that matter, and I didn't want him to ever have to feel like that.

Nahmir wasn't bipolar, but I already knew how that grieving shit went. Sometimes all you needed was a good listening and a shoulder to cry on, or even just someone to keep you company. Otherwise you'd end up literally driving yourself crazy. I was so desperate to help him because I didn't want him to be miserable like me, plus with everything I put him through these past few months, I owed him. A quick trip to Bora Bora is the least that I could do, and I knew that we both needed it.

We hadn't been on the island for long, but I could tell it's positively impacted Nahmir in the short time that we'd been here. Both of our energies were just...different now. I feel less tense and stressed out here, everything about this place is just refreshing, and I couldn't wait to fuck Nahmir silly all over this damn island. I wanted to make him a whole slut for my dick again, but at the same, even the thought of doing anything sexual to Nahmir made me nervous, which is why I chickened out earlier. I wanted nothing more but for my dick to be engulfed in between his little round cheeks as his pink insides swallowed my dick whole, but now knowing the truth about our last sexual encounter, I didn't know if I was ready like I thought I was.

Nahmir actually understood, and after a long conversation, we both agreed to chill on sex for a while and decided on going shopping instead. There was another small island that was very close to Bora Bora, and it had a huge three story luxury outlet mall on it that you could only get to by traveling across a long, narrow bridge for about ten minutes.

Nahmir was a huge fan of Jordan's, so the first stop we made was to the Nike store. We damn near bought out that store alone because he couldn't decide on what shoes he liked the best, plus I wanted him to have some shirts to go with the shoes he got so he could match and shit, so I bought them all instead. Next, we hit up Versace, Gucci, Nordstrom's, Balenciaga, A Bathing Ape, and more. I spent over fifteen thousand dollars, which wasn't even half of what I spent on this trip. I was just carelessly spending my whole life savings up and shit, but I really didn't care. My luh baby deserved nothing but the best, regardless of if he thought so or not. If I got it, he got it too.

I heard a soft "fuck" come from the bathroom and I sat up instantly. In a way, I swear it was almost like God was telling me to get up and go check on Nahmir again, and that's exactly what I did.

I got off of the bed and groaned as I did so, stretching once my feet hit the floor. As I got closer to the bathroom, soft, painful whimpers could be heard coming from behind it, and I immediately froze up. My breath got caught in my throat and I started thinking the worse, slowly reaching out to grab the knob with my shaky hand.

As soon as I turned the knob and pushed the door back, a pool of blood came rushing over my feet like an ocean wave. I followed the pool of blood with my eyes, which eventually led me to a shaking, half naked Nahmir. I froze, my mouth falling agape as I felt my heart drop. A sharp pain went through my chest, nearly bringing me to my knees as I began to have flashbacks of unwanted memories.

This was the first time I've been around this much blood since my parents were killed over fourteen years ago. Blood was a trigger for me period, but seeing that much definitely struck a nerve in of me.

Ironically, the first encounter between Nahmir and I went almost exactly like this. I remember that shit just like it was yesterday. We were at school, and it was after hours since I had to stay for detention, so there weren't many people that was still there. I had to take a piss and I didn't feel like walking around to the student bathrooms, so I just ended up going to the teacher ones. When I got there it was locked and no one would answer so I kicked it down, and once I got inside, there Nahmir was, passed out in his own blood next to the toilet. If I hadn't checked his pulse, I would've thought he was dead. I remember being so in shock and distraught, it had only been a few weeks since school started, but he always looked so happy. He was Fresh's friend, but I didn't know him that well and I doubt he ever paid attention to me, but whenever he came around he was always so positive and full of energy. I just couldn't understand why he'd do something like that.

Nahmir held onto his arm, which was cut so deep you could almost see bone. There were other smaller cuts, resembling a pattern of some sort. He whimpered softly and bit down on his bottom lip, his facial features showing signs of pain and discomfort. His skin was even more pale than usual, and his body was covered in goosebumps.

"M-Mir..." I choked, staring at him with wide eyes full of disbelief.

This can't happening right now.

He slowly looked up at me, his eyes heavy and fully of tears.

"I cut too deep."