Mary Magdalene - Chapter 2

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Despite all of my training and experience with my love, teacher, and husband—Jeshua—watching him go through his final teaching lesson was not an easy undertaking. I was deeply connected with Mother and Holy Spirit, yet there were moments during his post-trial taunting and whipping, the march to Golgotha, and his eventual crucifixion that were harder than others.

I had to use every trick I'd learned from Jeshua and Holy Spirit to stay in connection with Mother. My eyes and mind wanted me to believe that the man I had come to love so completely was being cruelly tortured. I was at peace most of the time, but there were moments when I believed he suffered, so I suffered as well.

My biggest forgiveness lesson started months before the temple guards took Jeshua after our celebration dinner. While we lay resting after a long day of travel and teaching he leaned toward my ear. "Mary, my love, we must speak," he whispered while kissing my ear. As always, it sent tingles through my entirety and flesh bumps appeared on my arm.

I sighed, having an inclination of what Jeshua was going to talk about. He had been hinting at a final lesson for weeks, and I had a feeling he was to reveal this lesson to me now.

"Have you seen the future, Mary?" he asked—his eyes aglow. "Do you know what is to come in the next few months?"

"I have not given the future much thought. I am just enjoying each day and moment with you and with our brothers and sisters." I paused and gently bit my lower lip. "What is it that you see or know, Yeshi?"

He gently ran his fingers through my hair until his warmth touched my scalp. It sent delightful embers down my spine.

"It has been shown to me many times that I will indeed be arrested and sentenced to crucifixion, which is what our group of friends has feared." He paused, filling the arid night with silence. "I would imagine you have felt the same."

I turned around to look into his dark brown eyes. They were glimmering and shining. To him, his last forgiveness lesson was just like visiting homes or raising the dead. It was no longer a matter of levels of difficulty. It was just who he was now. Complete and whole. He was more beautiful than anyone I had ever known. His presence filled my heart.

He radiated love and truth so much that my heart overflowed and made me weep. It was as if my body did not know what to do with these feeling and the only outlet for this pure energy was through tear. This was going to be one of those times. Salted water ran from my eyes, and he held me close to his chest while rubbing my back and kissing the top of my head.

"Yes, my love," he said. "This is meant to be your greatest forgiveness lesson as well. Remember that this is all a dream, and I am simply spirit, while your eyes pay witness to what would appear to be horrible atrocities being acted upon my body."

I pulled away from his chest and wiped the tears from my eyes. "I don't think the worst part will be what happens to your body. The hardest part will be not having you here with me, like we are now. I admit that I fear the loneliness, even though I also feel so connected with Mother in Heaven. There is still a part of me that is not free of the need to be with you in physical form."

Jeshua looked down at our clasped hands and then back up with a smile on his face. "Once I have risen, I will be with you in more ways than you could ever imagine. You will never be alone. You are never alone. Just speak of me in your mind, and I will always be with you. I am one with Him, and you are as well, my love."

For a moment, I closed my eyes and felt the connection with our Mother run through my body and my mind. In that instant, I was at peace again. When I opened my eyes and looked to my husband, I was split again and reminded that our days together were limited. My body and emotions reacted with fresh tears.

I buried my face in his robe and allowed the grief to run through me, not judging or condemning how I reacted. It was just part of the process. I had learned long ago that allowing emotions was a much better process than trying to ignore or stop them.

Jeshua simply held me. He swayed side to side, rocking me as a young babe in need of consoling.

Slowly my tears subsided and I was able to lift my head and look into his eyes again. Oh, those beautiful eyes that shone brightly of love! They gave me strength and triggered a doubt of my own inner strength. When he leaves the dream of bodies, will I be prepared? Eventually that thought drifted off, and we embraced like newfound lovers on a cold winter's night.

"My love, I will remember to love our Mother and join with you in spirit every day that is left of my life," I said. "I will remember that this is all a dream I made up. I will see you in all of my brothers and sisters and know that we are one together in Heaven."

"Ah, my second-greatest teacher," he joked, laughing and kissing me on the lips. We would both say that to each other, implying that our greatest teacher was God. I closed my eyes and laughed with him.

The heavy tension lifted immediately, and I accepted that my love in this lifetime was meant for greater things than just teaching and being my husband. I had known this ever since we were younger and discovering all of our spiritual gifts and connections.

"My love, what will you have me do with this knowledge you have shared?" I asked, wondering if he wanted me to impart any of this to our closest friends.

"I only want you to take this information and then forgive whenever the urge to mourn, get angry, or feel sad comes up. Again, this is your greatest forgiveness opportunity, and it will set you completely free." He caressed my cheek and kissed me softly again. "Now let's pray together, and then we shall sleep, yes?"

I nodded taking a deep breath. The tension I held in my chest left on the out-breath.

We both got into a cross-legged position and began to connect and meditate on God. I asked the Holy Spirit to come into my mind and help heal the idea that my husband was to be killed and that it would be a painful process.

Before long, I felt deeply at peace, and soon we were both nestled next to each other, ready for a few hours of sleep.

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