B+A

Brice Sunday

"Hurry up! Are you coming or just doing it with your clothes on?" Aizlynn asks.

"Frickin' retarded seal, I can't do it with my clothes on. I'm gettin' there, okay?"

"Well, hurry your butt up, Brice, or I'm doing it without you. I didn't even wanna do it in the first place."

"Azzy," I stand up straight. Straighter than I am, at least. Why would you make me think that? Y'know, I'm supposed to be the narrator. Not you. "You can't do it without me."

"I could try."

"You'd fail. There needs to be two people. It doesn't really work if you do it yourself."

"Brice."

"Yes?"

"If somebody was listening to our conversation... What do you think they'd think we were talking about."

I swing open the door and pause. "Maybe that's what we want them to think."

"No, that's just you."

"Yeah, figured." I lick my top lip. "You need to buy lingerie."

A single eyebrow raise then a shake of the head is enough of an answer for her.

I nod back.

*

Aizlynn says, "This is so stupid. Why'd you have to ask Jay for ideas?"

A shrug. I climb up the ladder, scooch to the tip, and throw myself overboard. But at the last second, I grab on with my right hand.

And, of course, we can't forget Aizlynn. She comes up right after that and lays herself down. She starts laughing. "Okay. Okay. Brice..." It's too much for her.

"Azzy, I'm slipping, hurry up."

"Brice... I'm sorry, it's too funny. Okay, I've got this. Ahem. Brice, oh, shoot, gimme your other hand." She grabs my left hand, and continues... After awhile. "Brice, I will never let you go."

My hand slips through her grasp (and the other off the board), and I fall to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean to my doom. Except, since it was a perfect pencil dive, I wake up a century later.

I swim to the surface and yell, "I tou-"

I plunge back into the water with a thunk and no oxygen in my lungs. A few mouthfuls of water later, I charge upwards and pierce through the rippling water.

Immediately, a pair of legs find themselves around my waist. I hear a voice. Aizlynn. "I'm sorry. But I wanted to, because it looked fun... It was."

I open my eyes, and cough a little more. "It's- I'm fine. I just swallowed a hella lotta water down there."

She hops on my back, and I swim over to the side.

"What are you? A dead turtle?" she asks.

"Probably." Well, after I almost died, yes. "You like swimming, right?"

"Nah, I'm just swimming right now. I like, actually hate it so much. It's awful."

"Well, just wondering."

"Not like you've known me forever, or anything," Azzy teases.

"Well, sorry."

"It's okay."

"Thanks."

"Yup, I forgive you."

"Gee, thanks."

She climbs up the ladder and adjusts her bikini a little, and I hoist myself over the edge.

"I'll do a cannonball," I say.