Forced to Become

Ch 45 mail

I was surprised when Beta's two guards leaned against the wall at the end of the hall, making a ladder of sorts with their bodies. Beta went first, pushing the ceiling panel for going down out of the way with difficulty, and pulled himself up. It was obvious the three of them had practiced this.

Down, I thought, thinking the office would at least be warm. Beta leaned out of the opening in the ceiling to offer me a hand. I climbed onto the bigger guard's slightly bent knees, working my way up the human ladder, steadying myself on the younger guard. Beta hissed when I hesitated.

Swallowing my uncertainty, I quickly grabbed Beta's outstretched hand. I almost lost my balance when one of the guard's hands pushed against my feet. I managed to pull myself up through the opening, falling on my shoulder to the cold grating outside.

Panic welled up in me when my feet were grabbed, and I kicked out of instinct. Something was thrown at me, hitting my head. The desire to attack back swelled up in me, which scared me more than being attacked. A thread of common sense wormed its way into my consciousness. Everyone, including Steven, was left behind in the kitchen, except for the two guards who were still in the hall. Only Beta was here with me. Quickly, I rolled over onto all fours and put myself into position with my head tucked and tilted.

I could hear Beta's harsh breathing in front of me. Slowly, carefully, I risked speaking out before he said anything. "Forgive me, lord Beta, I didn't mean to kick. My legs just spasmed when my foot was grabbed. I didn't know what was happening. I'm sorry, Beta."

I stayed still, preparing myself for hair-pulls, slaps or punches. His hand landed on my shoulder as he went past me, picking up whatever he had thrown. As he squeezed back past, he dropped the sneakers I had worn when I was kidnapped under my nose. I held still, my heart pounding.

"Put them on," Beta ground out.

Moving to a sitting position, I tried to slide one sneaker on. I had to undo the laces, widening the opening, before I could get my foot in. Ignoring my scrunched toes, I worked on my second sneaker. The thought of how much I'd grown upset me. My dad and I had gone to the mall to buy these when I outgrew my last pair. We'd made a day of it, the two of us having lunch together and catching a movie. There would be no trip to the mall this time, no special outings.

I finally stood, making sure to keep my head down to hide my tears. Seeing Beta's shoes had me scrunching up my brow. They were too big for him, and they were a little scruffy-looking.

I couldn't help but look up, ready to ask Beta if he had ever owned shoes before, remembering he'd been barefoot when I'd been kidnapped, but he was already moving. After a moment passed with no command, I decided to follow; that's why we were here, after all, for him to share a surprise with me.

We went down slower this time, as Beta worked to keep his feet from sliding out of what I assumed were borrowed shoes from one of the other boys. I bore my own uncomfortable footwear in silence; it was better than getting frostbite. Beta didn't say a word, and never looked back to see how I was doing.

I was upset at Beta's attitude, and mad at myself for being upset. I tried to tell myself that I shouldn't care, but I knew that I did. It was more than Beta being our future hope. Beta took abuse from Alpha on our behalf. Even though I understood the two of them considered their constant conflict to be a natural thing, it was very unnatural for me.

On a personal level, I needed that assurance I was still his "good" guard; without it I feared being called a bad one. Plus, I needed him to trust me so I could use him to protect my pack.

All these thoughts tumbled within me as we made our way down to the empty office. Beta kept his silence up as he helped me down, then walked out the office door, waiting for me to follow. I couldn't figure out what he was doing, since he made such a big deal last time about the office door always being locked. It wasn't until he led me to the main entrance to the building and held the door leading outside open for me, that I stopped and stared at him.