A Mother's Bond

12

She set her down and looked back at me. "She's made it very clear she doesn't want to see new people right now. Maybe we should introduce Blue a little later. When she's up for it."

"I can make an exception for my little sister," said a deep raspy voice I'd very quickly come to love.

We looked up and saw Sarayah walking down the stairs. When she got to the bottom, she smiled shyly at Blue, fiddling with her fingers.

"I know being an only child can be awesome, with all the attention and whatever, but I hope you don't mind having a big sister."

Blue grinned and sprinted towards her. She launched herself at Sarayah. Sarayah caught her, a surprised look on her face. She quickly recovered, laughing. She lifted Blue up and spun her around, much like Bey had, moments earlier. I stared in awe, she had so much of Beyoncé in her, it was crazy. Even their laughs sounded alike.

I couldn't stop staring. I couldn't help it. This was my first time seeing Sarayah so comfortable and open. Even when we were joking around, I could still feel this barrier. There was a line, and I knew I couldn't cross it, not yet. Watching her with Blue, I didn't see any type of hesitation, any guard. She looked right at home.

Blue reached out to touch Sarayah's cheeks. "You have spots like Daddy."

Sarayah giggled, sounding just like Bey. "They're called freckles."

"Okay, cool. Do you wanna see my room?" Blue asked, wriggling out of Sarayah's arms.

"I do. I actually have no idea where it is. So, you could show me any room, and I would believe it was yours."

Blue giggled. "Even the bathroom?"

Sarayah nodded solemnly. "ESPECIALLY the bathroom."

Blue covered her mouth, laughing. "But it has a toilet and a bathtub, silly!"

Sarayah shrugged. "Maybe that's your chair and your bed. I wouldn't know. I'm completely at your mercy, little sis."

Blue grinned. "Don't worry, big sis, I won't bring you to the bathroom. I'll show you my real room."

She held out her hand and Sarayah took it, smiling. Genuinely smiling. I could see those dimples that I used to love kissing. It was like seeing August again.

I watched as Blue dragged her upstairs. I hovered by the stairs, wanting to soak in every moment of this side of Sarayah. This was exactly what I had been waiting on for years. The day Blue was born, I cried like a baby. Yes, because I loved her so much, but also because I couldn't imagine ever having this. My two children hanging out together. I thought we would always be broken. Yet here we were. Whole. It was unreal.

"OoooooOOOooooo," Sarayah sang, her voice drifting down the stairs. "What a B-E-A-UTIFUL bedroom this is!"

"That's the bathroom, Rayah!" Blue yelled, laughing.

"Ohhhhhhhh, thank goodness I have you to guide me. I'm so lost."

I grinned. I felt unbelievably happy. I turned back to look at Bey to see if she was feeling the same way I was. She was looking up the stairs with an unreadable expression.

"I'm tired. I'm gonna go take a nap before Solange and my mama get here," she said, her voice monotone.

I watched her walk away, concerned about her mental state. I knew she was hurting. I also knew that the only person who could really heal her was the same person who was destroying her.

I walked to Blue's room. Blue and Sarayah were sitting on the rug, playing with dolls. I stayed quiet, not wanting to disturb them just yet.

"Daddy told me to call you Sarayah," Blue mentioned.