Find your Voice

Chapter 23: Finding My Voice

Chapter 23: Finding My Voice

The bell rang and I walked through the halls looking for Mitch. We had one more week of school left but Mitch, Kevin and Kirstie were graduating in two days on Sunday. It was Friday, their last day of school and I envied them. I still had to come back here for a week of finals. Avi would still be here since he was still in my engish class but the pricipal assured him if he worked really hard throughout the summer he'd be able to graduate before the new school year started. He seemed more determined to pass now. Mitch and I had talked about college and he said he wanted to take a year off and work first, then he'd decide later what he wanted to do. I told him that I'd follow him anywhere he wanted to go, he was my soul and I couldn't bear the thought of being without him. The past couple of months had gone exceptionally well. Alex and travis weren't friends anymore and even though Travis still wasn't my friend he left me alone. Alex on the other hand would still call me fag, and gay boy, but he didn't lay a finger on me, which made me laugh at his insults because I knew he was too afraid to do anything else. I felt powerful for once in my life. "Fag..." I heard someone cough and I turned to see a group of guys laughing as I passed them. This happened everyday, all day. Besides Avi, Kirstie, Kevin and Mitch I had no one. Everyone else in the school still hated me but I don't think I really cared that much. All I needed was Mitch. I mean yes their words hurt but the bright side was I was no longer being physically abused and so I tuned them out most of the time. Who cares what they thought anyway? Mitch didn't, the rest of my friends didn't, so why should I?

         I spotted everyone standing by Mitch's locker and I snuck up behind them putting my hands over his eyes. "Guess who?" I asked in a deep raspy voice but I couldn't hold in my giggles. Mitch turned around and kissed me. 

"Hey babe! Tonight's the big night are you ready?!" He asked anxiously. He was referring to the school talent show. And no I wasn't ready. Mitch and I had picked out a song and have been practicing it for months but I ws so nervous I felt sick. I didn't know if I could go through with it.

"No I'm not..." I said and he frowned.

"Babe, you know this song backwards and forwards, don't worry!" He tried to reaasure me but it wasn't working. We said goodbye to the group and walked out of the building to his car. I wanted to get home and practice the song a bunch before tonight.

"Ok Scott that's the tenth time we've gone through it I think we'll be ok." Mitch said. I still didn't feel confident. 

"Mitch...everyone in that school, besides you, Avi, Kevin and Kirstie hate me. What if I get up there and forget my part? You won't be in school with me next year and that'll just give them one more reason to beat the shit out of me everyday." I was so worried and I don't think anything he said would make it better. 

"Scott I can't say anything to help you. This is something you have to do for yourself. Think about when you saved me from Avi, Alex and Kevin? And then how you protected yourself from Travis and Alex? Think about the courage you had when you spoke to James and your mom. Find that courage Scott. It's there I know it." Mitch kissed me and then walked away leaving me to get my head together. He was right. I did all of that and now all I had to do was sing and I was going to chicken out? No Scott you're better than that. What if I sound like shit? Well what if I do? Then life will go on...Yes it would be fine.

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I stood backstage with Mitch anxiously waiting for our turn to go on and sing. I kept going over the song in my head trying not to panic. Remember Scott, you can do this. You got this. I kept telling myself over and over. I concentrated on my breathing as the next act started. Act after act and I started to feel a little more calm. "Our last act is senior Mitch Grassi and sophomore Scott Hoying singing a duet." The announcer said and I panicked. So much for being calm...Mitch grabbed my hand and smiled at me and he led me on stage to the two microphones. I squinted as we got under the incredibly bright lights. I heard laughs and saw people pointing. I heard a few quiet 'fags' and then more laughs and then a 'bitch'. I closed my eyes trying to dorwn their words out. You can do this Scott...I opened my eyes and focussed on the people in front of me. Kirstie, Avi and Kevin sat in the front and I made eye contact with me. They gave me a thumbs up and I turned quickly to Mitch who raised an eyebrow asking if I was ready. I nodded and he gave a thumbs up to the sound guy. The music started and I closed my eyes going into my own world. And then...I sang 

"In the crowd alone

And every second passing reminds me I’m not home

Bright lights and city sounds are ringing like a drone

Unknown, unknown....."

I looked over at Mitch as he joined me singing in perfect harmony....

"Oh, glazed eyes, empty hearts

Buying happy from shopping carts

Nothing but time to kill

Sipping life from bottles

Tight skin, bodyguards

Gucci down the boulevard

Cocaine, dollar bills

And...

My happy little pill

Take me away

Dry my eyes

Bring colour to my skies

My sweet little pill

Take my hunger

Light within

Numb my skin...."

I stopped and relaxed as Mitch continued his part. 

"Like a rock afloat

Sweat and conversations seep into my bones

Four walls are not enough

I’ll take a dip into the unknown, unknown...."

Damn he was flawless. I smiled and joined him.

"Oh, glazed eyes, empty hearts

Buying happy from shopping carts

Nothing but time to kill

Sipping life from bottles, bottles

Tight skin, bodyguards

Gucci down the boulevard

Cocaine, dollar bills

And...

My happy little pill

Take me away

Dry my eyes

Bring colour to my skies

My sweet little pill

Take my hunger

Light within

Numb my skin...."

The crowd was completely silent as we sang the chorus one last time. Once the music stopped it was silent for a second, and then the crowd erupted in cheers and everyone, and I mean EVERYONE stood up clapping and cheering for us. Mitch embraced me with tears of happiness and then kissed me in front of everyone. I looked into those beautiful brown eyes as we heard wistles from the crowd. This is how life was supposed to be, Mitch was my happy pill as cheesy as that sounded but it was true. He was everything to me and with him I hand the strength and courage to do anything! I finally found my voice.

                                THE END

***Um yeah so when I saw their video for "Happy Little Pill" I fell in love with it. I knew it'd be the song that they would sing. So yeah! Thanks to all of you for readying and voting for this story. It was hard to write but I'm glad I got through it! I'm sad to say it's over but don't worry I'm currently working on one and I just got an idea for another one...actulaly more than one other one so there's more to come! I just have so many ideas that I can't forcus on one thing! #CreativeOverload****