Is It Him!

What wasnt suppose to happen!

It's way past 12:30 am Jackson has called me letting me know he will be home soon and I glow.

And that is scary never thought I would glow again for a man loving me or wanting to be around me!

He is not suppose to be in my life or see my flaws or see the pretty turn into unholy ugly in such a short time.

I mean short! I usually take six months just to let a man take me on a date because I wasn't giving up my body and was scared to tell the truth as lay waiting for him. I went to his house and stayed I don't do that!

He has to have some magical powers ok causes all of what I did was red flags.

I knew in Starbucks I was going to break all vide of a code with him! My stance dropped when I saw him before we talked! As he laughed at me.

I let all go and as I was in a rumble of a funny running phase!

The control was gone and then I smelled him! Done! Physically he had it but I had been with attractive physically I wanted a man with substance he brought it!

Double high on the home gone for me he had substance with the physical and I tried to see wrong in him and still trying too.

I still wanna not love him but his kind gentle loving manners with me are off the chain. He like to protect me even through I give him a hard time on it I like it!

He likes to talk to me and he listens where he from ok? Cause I dealt with a man who beat me if I talked he really did.

I ran away from another great guy because I was so scared and he let me! But not Jackson he kept on being persistent holding my attention.

He probably thought of sex with me as men do but he was a gentleman and I still wanted to run like No! No! No! He might change on me,

I still look for him to change but he doesn't after four months. If I try to leave he has a beautiful fit he really wants me here and I love it.

It's s calm fit of NO! I want you here! You don't know how you complete me he always says in a quiet sexy manner!

We dance at 2 am in the morning and we laugh! I have never had that or this kind of understood love he gives me.

I hear the car he is here! Let me greet him at the door in his t shirt to kiss him.
He will smell like the restaurant Atmospheric but I love that smell ok! Makes me wanna jump on him!
I truly do adore him in his all just scared I will mess up what was sent to me.

He is not suppose to be in my life it's a dream and I open the door Jackson comes in.
I come to his waist and kiss him hard with love! And misses.
Hey baby! Hey! I missed you! Hope your night at work was good! It was thought of you the whole time in that hectic place.
I am still on his waist as we talk and walk not letting go cologne and food smells good on him.
As we move my hands message him to help him relax and release tension from tonight and kiss his neck hearing a moan Ahhh baby that feels good."
He tells me I truly make his nights at the restaurant better. Coming home use to be horrible for him before he met me and now he flies home because I'm here.
Wow! He just doesn't know that I think I don't deserve him. Cause even as I adored him at the poetry event watching him didn't know him!

He was the dream guy I thought I could not get not because I wasn't attractive but because of my baggage.

Well he is dealing with my baggage baby and loving me in this process! It's scary but I will not run.

    He is not like the other jerks I knew he kept on after me not leaving. The phone calls kept coming and he wanted to know me.

    Not just sleep with me and that there was the sexy thing about him. He is no doubt sexy on the out and in without trying.

    That's why every woman throws themselves at him and he just laughs at the thought. He says you know how many hotel keys and panties I have got""" too many and I laugh Bella.

   These women be seriously got for real! I am a one woman guy not many women and it's scary how they do.

   Meeting him was a blessing yet scary! It took time for us to meet and I am glad. We connected over time.

At the gala I was trying not to look in his eyes he tried to make me look at him by moving his head my way constantly.

His eyes made me feel like I wanted to go to the bathroom I was that frigidly around him he had that affect of the effect on me.

His eyes could set afire to a place they so strong capture you and you can't speak or move looking his way.

Your never the same after looking in them never.
         I am not suppose to like his eyes or him! I fell in love so quick! And the love has increased but I do get the fear because it's so good too good!
         Can it be true? Can it! I gotta let myself be loved by him as he wants.
I am open to him too much it's a fear I wanna run from but can't! I like being open to him.
        I remember the first date at the vegan vegetarian restaurant I was so sick. I had tried to take meds as the days before.
         Yet! The flu just hid and came out as I was cute and being awesome with him. The cough! Headache! Scratchy throat.
          I knew he was the one cause he dealt with it and still thought I was the most beautiful being as we were in the restaurant,
            To myself I said he perfect cause I am hacking over here about to fall out. I walked in thinking I am too much for this guy.
              I get to anxious and wanna run he can't be for me! He might wanna run from my crazy lol! Yet! He didn't.
              Amidst the people and the food! Us! The date! Him across from me it was beautiful.
               We had the best conservation as I coughed my way thru it and he kept saying you got my full attention lady hey.
                I was scared he wasn't going to want me even as we crossed paths in our way casually talking.
                He sees awesome in me and I gotta see awesome in me.
         He took me home to his house and took care of me I said to myself this is a good kind man! Nursing my sickness for a week.
           That week turned me into staying and here now months after.
To me he is a prince that I came upon just by luck but he is a man real! He cooks! He laughs! How was this suppose to happen.

It did and I gotta accept it! There are real princes and to me he is one.

I fall in love with him different everyday. His humor! His laid back personality! His whole being impresses me.

I wonder what impresses him about me besides my beauty! My being!

What made him want me I question? I got confidence I just wonder how I got him because I get so anxious.