One Year // Jonah Marais

S~E~V~E~N: Unexpected Meeting

Jonah Marais:

I get into my car and drove to Stillwater Baseball Park. I got out and walked to the entrance, accept I didn't, cause it wasn't there. It was all gone. Everything. The only thing left were the bleachers and one of the seven fields. I walked to the field that was left. Was this really it? I basically grew up here. This is where I met Seth. Where we had our first fist bump was by the tree next to those god awful bathrooms. I remember going into the concessions stands and taking pieces of bubblegum when nobody was looking. My dad taught me how to catch behind the fourth field batting cage. Now it was just ash and ground. This was the place I first saw Hollister. Her brother was on a team around six years ago. He was only three but I remember our brothers playing together. She never talked to me. My dad said it was because I was too sexy for her. He always made me laugh. I gave her the money my mom gave me for ice cream when her's fell on the concrete behind the batting cage at diamond seven. It's all gone now.

This was the last place I saw my dad. The last place I ever caught his curve ball. The place I broke four balls with my home run swing. The tree behind diamond five, after every game, my dad would put me in the tree, even when I was big enough to climb it on my own, and would take a picture of me so he could watch me grow through photos. My coach, my dad, used to train me and push me harder than anyone else on the team, because he thought I could go somewhere "playin' ball". 

The night he died, we had just lost the championship game my eight grade year. He had told me to never give up and to know that there will be more chances. He taught me not only how to play baseball, but to respect others, to forgive, to channel my anger in to the game. He made me, me. Then, that night. We lost, my dad talked to me and then got a phone call. I didn't know it, but my dad had been working for the FBI. I didn't know because he was always home after school. Was at every baseball game and practice in field 1. He was home for every Christmas and birthday. He was always there. He had gotten that call and told me we would get ice cream to celebrate that I had gotten three home runs -even though we lost- tomorrow. He said "I love you, son. I'll see you real soon. And remember, you'll always be a hall of famer in my book." He used to call it the Hall of Great Marais. He was my best friend. the next morning, my mom woke me up, instead of my dad. That's when I knew he wasn't coming back.

My mom sat me down and told me everything. I don't think I had ever cried so much. I spent a few days at home, not going to school or leaving my room. I wasn't hungry, my appetite was gone. The only time I got out of bed was to use the restroom. When I finally got out of bed, I asked my mom to drive me here. I asked my mom to bring our assistant coach out and pitch to me. I kept swinging as hard as possible and broke the wooden bat I was using because I hit it against on of the dugout walls. I remember sitting in the dugout crying. I remember when I was sitting there, I could hear my dad's voice saying he loved me and that if he were to ever leave this earth early, that I had to step up and be there for my family and my mom. That night, I did.

I felt a tear slip down my face, pulling me out of my thoughts. I saw a baseball on the ground and picked it up. I threw it as hard and far as I could and started yelling.

"Damn it!" I kicked the ground. "FUCK!" I ran over to the fence that was still standing. I started punching it as hard as I could.

"Why? Did? You? Have? To? Go? Burn? Down? All? I ? Had? LEFT?" My knuckles started bleeding and I hit the fence with my forearms and place my head on the fence, letting tears stream down my fence. That's when I just let loose and let it all out. "AAAAHHHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK! DAMN IT! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" I just kept screaming, kicking and punching the fence, not even caring about how bloody and cut up my hands were. I just kept screaming. And I kept crying. I felt so alone.

"THIS IS ALL I HAD LEFT! WHY DID YOU TAKE IT FROM ME! AAAHHHH! GOD DAMN IT!" I yelled until my voice couldn't produce sound anymore. So, I sat there. Crying. The I heard it. At first it sounded like my cries and yelling had gotten louder, but then I listened.