Overthinking, overthinking, overthinking.
On average, you have 70, 000 thoughts per day.
Out of those 70, 000, there's always that one that makes you feel mentally and physically sick.
The thought churns your stomach;
The thought that makes you to curl up and hug your knees and bury your head between your legs,
The thought that triggers a spiral of 'What-if's and deepest fears and doubts.
The one that you can't stop thinking about no matter how many times someone says 'Relax. You have nothing to worry about.'
You do that, don't you?
Overthinking doesn't always stem from some deeply-rooted childhood trauma or insecurity.
I have friends that overthink on a microlevel. They overanalyse texts to a point where they're obsessive over punctuation.
"Why did they use a period? Do they hate me? Did I say something wrong? Maybe I should call up my friend and spend an hour discuss all possible meanings of this single text for the next two hours.
...
Yes. That seems like a good use of my time."
Usually, we already know the thought isn't worth dwelling on, yet we're still sucked into this vicious cycle of toxic thoughts.
If you're like me and regularly self-reflect, seeing your life in retrospect – whether you're lying in bed at 3am or sitting in class – can be dangerous if not done properly.
It starts with me thinking about what happened that day and then I slap my face only to realise what I should've said or done instead.
"If only I had done this to make that situation better or, usually, less embarrassing... (trust me—I'm twenty years of proof that God has a sense of humour)."
But there's a strong difference between insightful reflection and overthinking.
Self-reflection can turn from being a productive habit into a harmful practice.
How do you know when it's harmful?
If the reason why you're overthinking comes from a place of growth – that's a healthy sign. This happens when you're excited for an upcoming trip or you're proud of someone you care about and you just can't stop thinking about how awesome they are.
If your overthinking comes from a place of fear – like when you're worrying about what others think, or you're scared to lose someone or how you're going to fail your test, that can carry into self-loathing. It drops you into a negative feedback loop.
Ruminating can be habitual, which rewires the brain and can perpetuate depression, sleeping problems, anxiety, self-harm and especially affect your relationships and others around you.
We are people who rethink situations because we want to better ourselves for the future. The last thing we need is to hurt ourselves in the process.
The only expense to self-growth should be acknowledging the pain and embracing the worry and doubt as an opportunity to grow.
Heartbreak is a perfect example for that – the shitty feelings are, eventually, a blessing in disguise. It's the Universe's or a Higher Power's way of cutting out someone because that Higher Power has someone who is even better waiting for you.
I've been able to control my overthinking better ever since...
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