The Worst (Unthinkable)

Be On My Way

'If I'm giving you the cold shoulder, that's closure
Needed someone to hold
But we both had our own motives'

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2 Weeks Later
Bronx, New York
Onika Maraj

"You made the right decision nic, be thankful that you got away early" Rah tells me softly rubbing my back.

Me and the girls went out for lunch since we've all been caught up in our own lives and haven't had time to hang out lately.

It had been two long weeks of no contact with cardi and I was grateful that Amber came up with the lunch proposal because I needed the distraction.

Unfortunately the whole situation was the main table topic.

"I was wondering who popped kiyo like that cause that girls a fighter" Amber chuckles getting some of her salad on her fork.

"Fuck that girl, nicki you did the right thing ma. You seen what she did to that girl and I don't ever want that to be you" Cyn says genuinely and I nod even though I knew bel would never lay a finger on me.

"Can we move onto the next subject or something? I'm really not trying to think about the whole situation right now" I tell them and they all nod in understanding switching the subject which I was thankful for.

Throughout the luncheon I really wasn't paying attention to anything that was being said cause I was too consumed in my own thoughts.

I hadn't gotten a good night's rest in weeks and it was really starting to take a toll on me.

If the decision I made was the right one then why was I so fucking miserable without her?

I didn't know how much longer I could go waking up and looking to the side of me seeing her not there, I knew my worth but it was just something about her that had me stuck.

I missed her, so fucking bad.

I sigh hearing my doorbell ringing, I was finally drifting off to sleep after hours and now somebody wanted to interrupt me.

I was cuddled up in a small blanket with one of cardi's hoodies over me, her scent was clung onto the fabric which helped me fall asleep because it was like a piece of her was here.

Throwing the blanket off of me I stood up from the couch lazily making my way over to the door, opening it a man stood there with a edible arrangement, some flowers, and a thick envelope.

"Are you miss Maraj?" He questions.

"Yes, I am" I reply confused.

"Well these are for you and this also" He smiles handing me the large edible arrangement, my favorite pink roses, and then the envelope.

"Thank you" I tell him before closing and locking my door.

Walking back in the living room I sat the fruits and roses on the table before sitting on the couch with one leg folded opening the thick envelope.

I was in shock seeing a stack of fresh blue hundreds with a 15k tag wrapped around the bills.

Behind the money there was a small card, pulling it out I read the message.

"Go get ya hair and nails done and buy yourself something nice, I'll have a car pulling up for you at 9 ~ Love Bel"

The cheesy grin that had stretched across my face made my cheeks hurt, it wasn't even the money or the fruits I just really valued the effort and thought she had put in.

I loved that she was atleast trying because that stood for something more than anything, she cared.

Maybe I ran through her mind as much as she did mines everyday.