The Worst (Unthinkable)

Triggered

'Tryna let the time fly
Tryna let the time go by
Tryna let the time heal all
Tryna let the time kill all
Of our memories
All you meant to me
All that history'

○

3 Months Later
Bronx, New York
Onika Maraj

I shut my eyes tight grasping the silk sheets as flashbacks ran through my mind.

The electrifying feeling ran through my limbs and I was okay for the next couple of seconds.

His lips pressing against mines brought me back to reality, sadly.

His sex wasn't bad, he just didn't do it like her. He didn't know what spots to touch to get me going, or what spots to kiss to make me weak.

He definitely wasn't as talented with his tongue as she was with hers.

He wasn't bad though, just wasn't her.

I hated her, truly resented her because she was right.

I couldn't fuck him without thinking about her, and when we finished I was never satisfied.

My body always yearned for more, for her.

She came in my life and flipped my whole world upside down without my consent, I hated her.

I hated that with every passing day since the last time I saw her I missed her more and more.

I was trying my hardest to stay strong and let her go but it was like everything I did in my life reminded me of us, I had lost two bestfriends that new years morning.

It was sick how much I missed her, the endless nights of me wishing it was her that was sleeping next to me.

I felt guilty because I was leading him on, I just needed a distraction from everything and he slowly became that.

And he did his job of distracting me well for the most part, it wasn't his fault that she had this inescapable hold on me.

Still when he asked me to be his girlfriend a month ago I agreed, and by the smile on his face when I said yes I could tell I had made his biggest dream come true.

He was a great boyfriend too, he always went out of his way to make sure I kept a smile on my face.

And in return he got a girlfriend that couldn't even cum without thinking of her ex.

And it was all her fault, it always was.

She was the worst.

Bronx, New York
Belcalis Almanzar

"Nah I ended up staying home lastnight" I held the phone up to my ear with my shoulder as I thumbed through some blue bills keeping count in my head.

These past three months had been me hustling like never before, I was almost ready to leave the game and let my girls takeover the whole operation.

My life was dull without nicki but word got back to me that the nigga that was kissing her in that picture and her was in a relationship now which really fucked with my head.

How you run back to the nigga that helped fuck up what we had?

I was sick, but it is what it is I'm done stressin over that whole situation. We both went our separate ways that night at the club and I haven't seen or spoken to her since.

I would be lying if I said I didn't miss her though, I couldn't fall out of love with her as fast as I wanted to so for now I was glad we was staying out of each other's way so she couldn't interrupt my healing process.

She was clearly already healed since she was already in another relationship.

Yes, I'm tight as fuck.

"You hungry?" Kyanna asks as she walks through the living room.

Me and KB had been vibing since new year's, I apologized for what I said to her that day at family dollar and of course she forgave me.

She was always great company and I hated sleeping alone so why not.

The only problem was that I knew her feelings for me where starting to grow and I had zero intention of ever being committed to her, I just didn't do that.

Nicki was an exception because she forced herself to be, bulldozing her way into my life fucking everything up having me feeling all these strong ass emotions and shit.

And that was a lesson learned, I will never get in a committed relationship with a woman ever again.

I was permanently scarred.

"Yea I haven't ate all day" I respond hearing her opening up cabinets.

"Bitch guess who I seen yesterday?" Star rhetorically questions.

"Who?"

"Bitch kiyo. I was about to jump out on her ass but she seen me and flew down the block in that raggedy ass nissan" We both start cackling.

Kiyo crazy ass still wasn't trying to give me my shit back and I was too paranoid to hit her up about it cause that stupid ass restraining order she put on me.

I might not ever get my chain back at this point.

"That hoe still got my chain, she lucky I ain't no police ass bitch or I would've reported her ass" I roll my eyes getting irritated all over again at the situation.

"You know when I get my hands on her it's ova wit"

"Nah you can't touch her cause she just gone lie and say I did it, I just told henny crazy ass the same thing. She gone get hers eventually though" I wasn't scared of shit but God and jail and I wasn't about to be locked up over no bitter bitch.

"Mannn, imma get that bitch fucked up then"

"Just make sure it's not nobody she know we affiliated with" I shrug, I was all for this cause she honestly been had this coming.

"I'm bouta set that up right now, imma hit you up lata" She says and I laugh moving the phone down from my ear hanging up.

My bestfriend played no games when it came to me.

Wrapping a rubber band around the thick stack of money I toss it on the coffee table with the rest of the pile.

I was working from home a lot these days, I trusted kb and knew she was solid enough to never try me or she would end up in a hospital bed just like kiyo was about to.