It's almost 11pm here and I'm thinking that most of you guys' time are either late afternoon or noon or morning, idk. I should just probably sleep now.
It seemed like it was months since Sam was authorized with this mission. It seemed to him like he has spent an eternity in the 1940s, but in reality it only has been a few weeks. And Sam only wishes it were to be longer.
He doesn't want to leave the 40s despite what he promised the dude from the New York Sanctum. He had too much fun and memories there to leave despite him only being there for a few weeks. He doesn't want to leave. But he only had a few more hours before he has to do what has to be done.
He was sent there for a purpose, he wasn't suposed to get attatched to the past, however, he was. He is. He's in too deep to go. Especially now, he doesn't want to let go what he and Bucky have.
It was selfish of him to risk many lives to be with Bucky including his own but he's never been this happy with someone. That he has finally found his one and only. Though, it was the right person, it was still a wrong time.
They've been through so much together, from their first meeting at the bar with Steve to the moment where he saved both Bucky's and Captain America's asses. Not just that, they had moments with each other too, some, Sam doesn't want to let the world know and some that he's proud of. It pains him to admit that he has to go back, that all of those are just gonna be memories.
So now he was there, in the middle of no where, snow falling from the sky and a tearful Bucky before him. He just dropped a bomb that was sure was gonna kill the man's heart.
"No, no, Sam. Sam, listen to me." Bucky held Sam's face in both of the palms of his trembling hands. "Y-you don't have to leave, the war's almost over, they can handle it on their own. What's one guy gonna change that?" He carressed both of his thumbs on Sam's cheeks. "W-we could h-hide some where. Pretend that the war doesn't exist, pretend that it's only you and I. No o-one else." Tears were flowing down Bucky's cheeks.
"Buck, that's not really a good idea."
"I-It is if I get to spend these last minutes with you." He let's go of Sam's cheeks, his head low, ashamed to let Sam see him in such a broken state.
"Bucky." Sam said pointedly, cupping Bucky's right cheek, lifting his head up. "You know I can't. The faith of the world literally depends on you, me and the Captain. Steve needs you out there. He may be on some sick ass steroids but he still needs his best friend there."
"No, no, no, Sam... y-you can't leave. I won't let you." Bucky laid his head on Sam's chest, tears still streaming out of his eyes, lightly hitting Sam on his chest. "S-stay..."
Sam gave a small smile down at his partner. He was upset that he had to leave, however, his time was running out and Sam knew better than to break his promise with the Sorcerer Supreme. He could seriously damage the time continuum if he stayed more than the time given to him. Because, the only thing that needs to be changed was that Bucky needs to be with Steve when they're on the train. He can't risk it. The team needs Sam and same goes for himself. Even if it had to risk his relationship with Bucky, saving the world is always first in Sam's list.
Making Bucky fall for him wasn't even part of the plan. He was only just going to get the guy's trust, not his heart. Now Sam has to deal with his mistake. But Bucky wasn't a mistake. Sam had a choice if he wanted to continue his relationship with Bucky when it was still early, and yet, he chose to be with him. Which was the most dumb choice he ever made. But he didn't regret it.
Sam held strong, he didn't want his emotions to cloud his judgement. He held back the tears, he didn't want to show his vulnerability. He held back looking at down at his partner, he didn't want to crave into his pleading sniffs.
The Falcon started to run his hands through Bucky's short, surprisingly, fluffy hair. He didn't have much time left, he had to leave, but he didn't. He wanted to cherish what little time he had left with Bucky. He knew, at the back of Sam's mind, that there might be a chance that Bucky will remember him when they'll be thawed out of the ice. But that wasn't guaranteed. That's why, Sam's willing to put his heart on the line for the sake of his mission. Even if Bucky wouldn't remember him in the future.
"I can't, Bucky. And you know that. We're in a literal war, nothing can be possible when our lives are at stake." Sam placed both of his hands on Bucky's shoulders, pushing him away from his chest so he can talk directly at him. Bucky slowly looked up at Sam. "Bucky, listen, I need you to promise me that you'll be with Steve the whole time, okay? And believe me, we will cross paths again. It not might be sooner or later but I promise you, we will meet again, Buck. Keep that in mind, it'll help you keep going." For a moment, Bucky looked empty, it was like he wasn't listening to Sam. "Wait for me."
But Bucky piped up with a hoarse voice from crying too much. "How can you be so sure about that? What if we don't even remember we had this? What if I don't remember you? What if you forget about me?"
"No, 'what if's', Buck. Cause I'm sure--" no he wasn't and that what scares Sam the most. "--that we will see each other again."
Bucky didn't answer. However, he just pressed his lips to Sam's. The kiss was desparate and rushed, which was unlike like Bucky. It would usually be slow and passionate but considering their situation, it had to be done fast.
Sam snaked his arms behind Bucky's back, pulling him closer and his other arm on his cheek. Both of Bucky's hands were on Sam's chest, pulling at his clothes, wanting his partner to be close to him. As close as he wanted.
Sam pulled back slowly, staring at Bucky's still watery eyes. "I love you, Sam."
Sam doesn't say it back, he just nodded and ran off.
This is a piece of crap but they're not so 😌