42. I loved him too

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June 30th, 1994
Harlem, New York

"I don't know what I was thinking, ya know? I guess the pain was just too much for me."

"It's okay Emoni, I'm just happy you were unsuccessful." She flashed me a warm smile.

"Me too. I was being so selfish that I wasn't even thinking about Amaru at the time."

"How is he?" She questioned. Her eyes were wide with curiosity.

"He's great. He's two weeks old now. Healthy baby." I smiled at the thought of him.

"Aw, congratulations Emoni."

"Thanks, Kelli."

"You're welcome." She smiled once more.

I shot one back sitting up in my seat. "So, you know I'm always happy to see you Emoni, but is there any other reason you came to see me?" She sat forward, an eager look brewing across her face.

I took a deep breath, preparing myself for what I was about to say. "I-I wanna let you do our story," I spoke.

"That's great," she said with a cheesy smile on her face.

I watched while she reached in her bag pulling out equipment. From cameras, speakers, notepads, pens. "Um, could you actually not record me please," I demanded, more than ask.

"How will I get the story—-."

"No I mean, just record my voice. I don't really care to be shown." I laughed nervously.

"Of course Emoni. Whatever makes you more comfortable. I'll be right back." She got up and went into her office.

I sat back confusion all over my face. She soon appeared back in the room holding what looked like a mic and a box. She sat back down across from me, handing the mic over to me. "Um," I kind of questioned in confusion.

"Do you know what this is?" She questioned.

"A karaoke machine?" I questioned earning a slight chuckle from her.

"Good guess, but no, it's a recorder. You're just gonna speak into this microphone and it will be recorded by the box here." She said.

I nodded letting her know that I get it. "Good," she spoke. "And um, Emoni?"

"Yes?"

"What made you change your mind if you don't mind me asking."

I took a deep breath before speaking, "I'm doing this to let everyone know that regardless of good or bad, all those moments that Birdie and I shared were, beautiful."

"Emoni, that statement is simply, beautiful within itself," She complimented.

I smiled. "Thanks."

"So whenever you're ready we can get started." She said.

"I'm ready now," I assured.

"Okay good," I watched while she turned on the recorder with excitement. "

"It's like this. See, you just talk into this mic and press the record button here." She explained.

I nodded letting her know that I understand. "Okay, ready." Her white nail clicked against the record player.

I took a deep breath, before reaching for the black microphone that sat on the table in front of me.

••

"I can't believe he's gone..."

"It all just happened so fast.."

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