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⤳ You 'It's been three months. It still hurts, I still cry, I still miss you, & I'm still not over you.'
I had written the message out, but decided not to send it. It didn't matter anymore.
-
"Baby, you better be ready to go to that cookout" my mom yells from downstairs.
She had suggested I tag along to one of the neighbor's cookout today, I haven't been outside much and she's basically forcing me to, she somehow thinks it'll make me feel better.
"Okay mom, give me a sec" I respond while glancing at myself in the mirror, I hiked my bike shorts up, and slid on a tube top to match.
I grabbed my lip gloss and my phone before heading downstairs.
"Come on child, before all the food gone" my mom scolds.
Getting in the passenger seat, I switched the radio on, hearing Tyquain's voice boom throughout the car, I slipped into a shock, I felt happiness flow over, my baby was on the radio, I thought in awe, "you hear-", I cut myself off thinking, he wasn't my baby no more.
Physically feeling my heart drop, I quickly switched the station earning a sad smile from my mom.
And I glanced down to the promise ring he had given me that I still wore, I hadn't taken it off since the day he's given it to me, I sighed lowly as I began to play with it, and thinking just how different things would've been if he hadn't done what he did.
"You still haven't spoken to that boy?" My mom asked, and I shook my head no, "he got a baby on the way, ain't nothing more to talk about ma".
"He loves you Y/N" my mom continues, but he doesn't cause if he did, he wouldn't have done what he did. It was his fault we weren't together.
"That ain't love, and if it is" I sigh, "I don't want it."
"You just like yo damn daddy, at least hear him out" she says.
"No. He don't even care, it's been three months, he ain't reach out, he ain't apologize. How you even want me to hear him out if he ain't saying shit?" I vent.
"Watch it" she scolds at me cussing, "but he'll come around, they always do" she smiles, continuing.
"Not when they a thousand miles away" I mumble.
"He closer than you think" my mom laughs, poking my chest where my heart was causing me to laugh.
"Man get outta here" I laugh, smacking her hand away.
I felt my phone vibrate, glancing down at it, I read a message that shocked me:
Quando 💍. ------- Nd it feel liCe foreva girl ah nigga hurtin 2, I Cry 2, I miss yu way more baby I ain neva gettin over yu fr ion kno what to do - 3:41PM
Quando 💍. ------- Ion wanna be wit out yu no mo bae yu jus don't get it fuCC all dese bitChes ✔️ Cause I only want yu - 3:41PM
I was confused, why the sudden message, was this to the wrong person? And then I remembered the message I had thought I didn't send. Lord please tell me I didn't send it, I thought as my heartbeat accelerated.
I didn't want to open them yet, I didn't even know what to say. I just pressed the power button retuning the phone to my pocket and continued the conversation with my mother before turning the radio up.
I didn't know how to feel so I figured I'd reply when I found the words to say.
626 words . - I want to make a part two to this so just let me know if I should.
