Volume 2

15. Compliment, Reject or Accept?

***This is a really long one today guys, it's something I really struggle with so I'm just gonna lay it out there and see how it goes. Hopefully it can help someone else struggling in the area!

I'm gonna break it down into 3 parts!!***

Part 2
——————
I have a hard time accepting certain things. The main categories I can break it down into is:
1. Help from others
2. Compliments
3. Gifts

Compliments. I have a love hate relationship with them. Obviously, it's always nice to hear, "oh you're such a good mom! You're doing great in school! I love your cooking!"
But in reality, if someone compliments me, because of my own insecurities I immediately say something like "ohhh noo that's not true, it's not that great or etc" and downplay what they have said. When people compliment you, they are highlighting something about you that you did well because of a gift/blessing from God. To reject the compliment is to reject what God made or what He has done!
James 1:17
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change

I am doing two things when I don't accept a compliment.

1. I am calling the other person a liar and stealing their opportunity to speak life.
If someone has chosen to notice something good about you, or something good that you've done, they are following these important verses, and we should encourage that.
Proverbs 11:17
"Your own soul is nourished when you are kind, but you destroy yourself when you are cruel."
Proverbs 16:24
Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.
Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear

If someone tries to be kind, but gets shot down, they might stop trying so hard to be kind. Maybe they aren't used to saying nice things and they wanted to start with you, but by refusing the compliment/calling them a liar, you're hindering their progress in that area of their Christian walk.

2. I am degrading myself/degrading gifts that God has given me.

It doesn't matter if I will never be a world famous chef/baker, if someone says, "wow that cake was good!" I need to say thank you, instead of internally comparing myself to the worlds best bakers. I need to stop saying how average it was, how I didn't like it, etc. and honestly that's just the enemy playing on our insecurities, trying to prevent us from using our gifts in the future. Bringing negativity into an otherwise positive situation.

I might not be able to make cakes pretty like Buddy Guy but I do have a gift for making them delicious. When I degrade that gift, I am telling God that what He made me able to do, isn't good enough. That His gift isn't valuable. When people are sad, when they need comfort, God gave me a gift of being able to bake and take them a cake. To offer them love, support and friendship/fellowship through food. It's not a world wide ministry, but it's a one on one love that Christ called us to do. And that's good enough!

So the next time I make a cake, (or whatever situation I am in), and I get a compliment, I reeeeally need to remember to reflect it back to God instead of projecting my own insecurities onto Him. I can instead say, "oh I'm glad you like it, I'm glad God gave us the opportunity to share good cake and fellowship." Or something like that.

1 Peter 4:10-11
"As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: Whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen."

We don't have to like it, but we need to be gracious in accepting compliments on our gifts. We all have small talents. Maybe you're good at cleaning and organizing things, & you offer to clean for a new mother who is recovering from birth. Does it have to be military clean? No! But will she be blessed by your gift? Absolutely! And when she compliments you, don't reject the compliment saying oh I could have dusted the baseboards more. Just say thank you. Point out that God made you to enjoy cleaning and you're happy to do it.
And that compliment might be all she has to give at the moment! Don't rob her of that!

When we reject sincere compliments, we are inadvertently rejecting God. I know from a psychological standpoint those of us who struggle to accept praise/complements, struggle because of low self esteem and the praise makes us feel like we have to live up to certain expectations. Making us feel guilty.
But.
Try to remember that God made you for a reason, and turn compliments back to God if you're still struggling with them.

When you give a compliment and notice someone struggling to accept it, point it back to God! Or change the wording. Instead of, "you're a great baker", say "I'm glad to see you baking for people who need it." It just might help them, and you.