The Optimist

six

Thursday's lunches are never good. "Can you, like, smile again?" Jacob does himself before plopping down in the seat across from me. I don't want to smile. The night after prom, my Dad was told by his doctor that his diabetes had gotten worse from age.

But, he's not old. He's sixty years away from being one hundred years old. And twenty years younger than the average diabetes patient. That Sunday night, he discussed with us his new meal plan. I've been upset ever since, and there's no reason to smile becuase my Dad's diabetes are worse, my Mom's heartburn is practically killing her, and Nathan is dating the school's favorite female playerette.

"Can you leave?" I whisper, burying my face behind my book. He looks me in the eyes and nods. The Non-Disappointer Jacob appears, and he stands up, leaves, and talks to Chresanto six lunch tables away. I can finally read my book, alone the way I like it, again.

. . .

"So, Perez finally released the newest survey on school uniform. He says he'll talk to the principal about it becuase they're, like, best friends." Nathan laughs at his own joke as he swoops tiny sweet potatoes from his spoon at supper tonight. "I swear, Jacob makes everyone happy, man."

I disagree. I wanted to say. But if I say that to Nathan, he'll tell me every reason why I should agree with him. Jacob disappoints me. He ditched me at prom, and I know he didn't mean to leave me, but it was kind of embarrsing to be dateless and laughed at at my first public outing at seventeen.

"Who is Perez?" My Mom rests a hand above her chest, directly on her heart. Her eyes water a bit as she belches, but she smiles it off and turns to Nathan. "Is he like, the school's player or something?"

Nathan shakes his head. "Well, his name is Jacob, but he's opposite of that. He won't date becuase he hates to disappoint people. He knows he's not good at dating and charming others, but he does it anyway. Everyone likes him. Even the janitor, but I can admit, the janitor's cool, but no one notices him."

Lies. All lies.

"He went to prom with Na-"

"Naaatalie, from school." I interrupt, saving him.

And myself.

Nathan and I exhcnage glances, his confused and mine worried. Mom and Dad will never let me go out somewhere with someone they don't know. "She's cool, too, you know." I say.

"Never heard of her." Nathan mumbles, but only I hear. He grins again, downing the brief sappy mood down his thorat and continues.

"Jacob and Xena are the best couple, though. She may be the last girlfriend he's had, but they're still a couple in pending." Nathan says. I roll my eyes and fiddle with the book I hid in my lap under the table with one hand, and stab at a string bean with the other. Mom and Dad glance at each other. "I knew a Perez, once." Mom smiles.

"Alejandro Perez. You remember?" Mom glances at Dad, who nods silently. A good enough answer for her. "Teresa. He fell for Teresa. Beautiful girl. They got Best Couple in the yearbook." Mom frowns like she just swallowed a ball of jealousy. Dad coughs into a napkin and nods.

"Jacob's mom's name is Teresa, too!" Nathan bursts out. "A-and Justin." He stutters with wide eyes. His eyebrows burrow together like he's peicing together the puzzle of llife. "How cool! You know her and I know they're son."

Dad and I are silent as they discuss the Perez's. I'm usually quiet, always waiting to sneak a peek of the book in my hand, but Dad isn't. Despite his diabetes, he's always laughing and chatting. He excuses himslef from the table, coughing violently.

"I hate them. All of them." I zone back into the conversation, now including a heated mom and a curious brother. "Teresa was very selfish. I give her test answers, she gives me nothing." Mom scowls. She stabs at a string bean on her plate, too, but with more force.

"Jacob's not like that, Mom. He's way nicer."

"I don't care. I don't want you with this boy, okay?" Mom asks. Nathan frowns for a second before popping another (optimistic-y) question. "How do I know that boy doesn't give out test answers, huh?" Mom snaps.

"He only helps with answers, not give them out!" Nathan says. "He can still give me advice when I'm stressed, right?" He asks. The thing is, Nathan is never stressed. Maybe being happy all the time can stress you out. So that's why I'm not.

"That's what Nadia's for." She says, breaking her gaze from Nathan. Dad returns from his coughing fit, sitting down with a smile. "All better," he says. He grabs a string bean with is fork and twists it, playing with it like a child.

"Nadia's not happy! Don't you all see that? She's drowned in a world of books all the time, dead silent and we're complete opposites at school!" Ouch. "She never talks. Jacob tried to talk to her, and he even took her to prom."

I can sense to the confused tension suffocating the air.

"But she's still not smiling, and I think she's fine with that." Nathan tops his argument off with a smile, of course. "Right, Nadia?"

My eyes widen when the attention turns to me, and I nod silently as I gaze down at my half eaten plate. "I like it, perfectly fine." I say quietly.

"See?" Nathan says. "The old Nadia would've just nodded, but she's spoke. Jacob practically got her to be at least a little more social." He smiles to me.

"And that's why Jacob is the best student role model for us, Mom."