Love & Hate

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

The next few days, I barely speak to anyone. Even my Old Men. Gemma comes by to check on me and I am still laying in bed. "How you holding up baby?" she asked. "I'll be okay. Just still a little shocked I guess." I tell her. "Baby, you know those men out there would do anything for you, right?" she asked. "I know but it makes me feel like shit that this is the second baby I have lost and this time, I didn't know which one of them was the father. They don't need this shit. Having to wonder which one knocked me up. I didn't even think about that when I took their crows." I tell her. "Stop that right there. These men love you more than anything. They would have both been here with you just like they have now. They both would have loved that baby and you will have one when the time is right. Timing just wasn't right this time." she tells me. "Or it was karma's way of telling me that I don't deserve them." I tell her. "Bull shit. You deserve to be happy baby and, yes, we have never had someone wearing two crows before but you guys love each other and make it work." she says and I just nod.

After Gemma leaves, Koz comes in and asked "Did you mean it?" I look at him and ask "Mean what?" He sighs and says "That you feel it's Karma telling you that you don't deserve us?" he asked. "I don't know. Part of me feels that way but then my heart tells me that the three of us belong together. I just don't want you two to regret this and hell, Koz, I didn't even know which one of you was the father." I tell him. "We talked about it while you are resting. And kid you have, will have two dads. Period. Obviously we will be able to tell after the kid gets here but either way, we will both be dad." he tells me and Happy comes into the room and says "We love you. We ain't going anywhere and neither are you. We are going to be one big dysfunctional family." I smile a little and say "I love you both so much. I just need to wrap my head around this. This is the second baby that I lost. I know the first was from the accident but this time, I didn't do anything." I tell them. "Like Gemma said. Timing just wasn't right." Koz tells me. I just shrug. Will you both lay with me? They lay on each side of me and just snuggle me. "I love you both more than anything. I hope you both know that." I tell them. "We do baby. We do." Happy says and we all fall into a peaceful sleep.

Waking up the next morning, we are still snuggled together. I turn over between them and snuggle into Happy with Koz snuggling closer to me from behind. Koz kisses my shoulder and Happy kisses the top of my head and we just lay there. "How are you feeling?" Happy asked. "A little better. Think I might go for a drive, get something to eat." I tell them. We all get up and start to get ready for the day when Jax calls. After Happy gets off the phone, he says "Change of plans. We got lockdown." They look at me and I just nod. "Apparently the Mayans are trying to pull some shit and they don't want anything happening to the girls. Pack a bag babe. I head to the closet and pull out three duffle bags. "I already have all three of our go bags ready. Let's go." I tell them and they just smile and shake their heads. "Look, I said I was taking care of my men and I meant it. Let's go." I tell them as we walk out the door.

Heading into the clubhouse, Happy and Koz take the bags to the room we will be sharing while I walk over to the bar to sit with Gemma. "How you doing baby?" she asked. "Better. Between talking to you and to them, I am better." I tell her. "Good." she says. The guys walk back out and the same croweater from before tries to push up on Koz again. "I am done with this bitch." I tell Gemma and walk over to her. I don't say a word. I just grab her by her hair and slam her face into the closest table. Then I get in her face and say "I told you he was off limits. Listen from now on, bitch." She scrambles away mumbling that I am a crazy bitch. "Don't forget it." I tell her. Koz pulls me to him and says "That was sexy baby." I just shake my head and we walk over to the bar where Gemma and Happy are sitting.