I took a deep breath after drinking water and took my tower to dry my sweats. Uupo na sana ako sa bench malapit sa locker pero napatigil din ako nang makita doon si Trift na nakatitig sa'kin.
"W-what? "
"Your training progress was faster that what I've thought. "
I rolled my eyes. "It's been 3 weeks since we started. Whole day akong nagttraining kaya dapat lang na mabilis ang proseso. "
"Yeah, it took you 3 fucking weeks to use a gun like you're cut to use it since birth, while it took me a 1 whole damn year to shoot my target perfectly. " sarkastiko syang tumawa bago tumayo.
He walk towards me. Akala ko ay may sasabihin lang sya pero nagulat ako nang bigla nya kong yakapin.
We're both sweaty, but he still smells nice. Nacconscious tuloy ako kung anong amoy ko.
"I'm insecure, Ibara... I'm starting to doubt myself as I watched you getting better each day... Baka bukas o sa mga susunod pang araw ay hindi mo na 'ko kailanganin kasi kaya mo na yung sarili mo. " he said in a low voice while combing my hair with his fingers. Ang isa nyang kamay ay mahigpit na nakapulupot sa bewang ko.
"I need you not just to be my guard dog... "
"You're just trying to make me feel better. " he chuckled.
"Wag kang maniwala kung ayaw mo. "
"Sungit. " he stopped combing my hair. Nagulat nalang ako nang dahan dahan nyang ilapit ang mukha ko sa dibdib nya. "Place your ear on my chest. " tila wala sa sarili kong sinunod ang sinabi nya.
"Do you hear how fast my heartbeats are? "
I slowly nodded my head. Sobrang bilis. Parang nakikipag unahan.
"Other people's opinion towards me doesn't matter to me. I don't mind if they call me names or ridicule my whole existence. " I felt him taking a deep breath. "I'm selfish, but when it comes to you I'm selfless... I'm like a dog who will gladly wag my tail while following you around. I'll be grateful for whatever you will give me... even if it's pain. "
"Trift... "
"This isn't the real thing yet, Ibara. Marami pang mangyayari lalo na pag ikaw na ang pumalit sa pwesto. So please, let's get stronger together, okay? I won't force you to stay by my side, but just... just stay alive. I wanted to do more things with you, so promise me that I won't lose you. " his voice was too soft. Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at mahigpit din syang niyakap.
"Promise. " I said and I felt him giving a peck on my head.
"I'm nervous. " he said after pulling from our hug. Kunot noo ko syang tinignan at doon ko lang napansin na namumutla ang mukha nya.
"From what? "
"There's only 4 days left before you get officially appointed as the organization's head. " nakita ko ang pagkuyom ng kamao nya.
He really looks so worried, as if something worst was bound to happen.
"Don't get too anxious. We'll just held a party for formality-- "
"We don't know what will happen. "
"Oh god, Trift! Can you calm yourself down? Let's just eat. " magpoprotesta pa sana sya pero mabilis kong inabot ang nakakuyom nyang kamao at hinigit sya palabas sa gym.
I don't know what he's thinking that was making him this anxious, pero sigurado ako na tungkol nanaman iyon sa kaligtasan ko.
I'm so tired of seeing everyone worrying about me. Mas lalo ko lang nararamdaman na ang hina ko sa paningin nila. Na parang wala silang tiwala sa kakayahan ko. But I can't blame them tho. I used to live a life where I always avoid getting myself involve with our organization.
"May isusuot kana ba? " Trift asked when we arrived at our dining area. Sa bahay lang kami nag ttraining dahil may gym naman dito. And it's safer here. I guess.
"Yup. " I said before looking at our helper. "Light meal lang po. "
"How about your friends? Nakausap mo na ba sila? What did they say? Pupunta daw ba? "
"Chill, Cela Iñigo. You're sounding like a mom. " tumawa ako pero umirap lang sya sakin. I was taken aback by that. After all the troubles we've been, it was my first time seeing him rolling his eyes at me! Attitude!
"Nag aalala lang ako dahil baka mag away nanaman kayo. "
"Why? Are you tired hearing my rants? "
"Never. "
"Good. " I said as I tried to hide my smile. Nang dumating na ang kasambahay namin dala dala ang pagkain ay nagsimula na kami.
Our breakfast went smooth. We talked about a lot of stuff. We laugh. We argue, but in the end I always end up winning though it was sometimes obvious that Trift was right. Ewan ko ba sa lalaking 'to kung bakit nagpapatalo sa'kin kahit halata naman na mas may sense ang mga sinasabi nya.
"Uhm, I have a question. " giit ko nang maalala ko iyong matagal nang gumugulo sa isip ko.
Trift took a sip of water from his glass before looking at me.
"Spill. "
I lick my lips as I gathered some guts.
Should I ask it? But I don't want to ruin the mood...
"What is it, Serenity? " he asked, the side of his lips rose.
"That night when you saved me from my captors... I heard you saying those three words. " I gulp. "Anong ibig sabihin nun? "
He didn't answer immediately. Ilang segundong napuno ng katahimikan ang buong dining area. I couldn't even hear my own breathing. Pakiramdam ko ay hindi na 'ko humihinga sa sobrang kaba.
"I heard it somewhere, but I don't know when or where. " sumandal sya sa backrest at tumingala sa kisame. I saw his adam's apple going up and down. Pati ang dibdib nya na nagtataas baba dahil sa bigat ng kanyang paghinga.
"I say those words to calm myself while doing my job. Ewan ko. Pakiramdam ko ibang tao ako pagsinasabi ko 'yun. I felt different... those words separate me from me and from the other me. " he said. Umayos sya ng upo at tipid na ngumiti sa'kin. "I hope you understand my explanation. Kahit ako naguguluhan din, e. " mahina syang tumawa.
But that laugh sounds different to my ears.
It was bitter. Sad and lonely.
"Can I... use those words too? " I asked, shock filled his eyes.
"Those words aren't mine in the first place... but why? "
"I just felt like I needed to calm myself too in the future. " nagkibit balikat lang ako binigyan sya ng tipid na ngiti bago tumayo.
ВИ ЧИТАЄТЕ
His Filthy Secrets ➵ 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐃
Романтика"Everyone has a filthy secret under their sleeves, it's just a matter of how they will hide it in the eyes of society. "
