Open Heart {Under Revision}

Chapter 25- Colors of Skies

'Where do monsters live? Monsters are family and family are monsters. I hate them all and I love them again. Ironic dilemma. Should I kill them or myself?'

— Charlotte Turner, Age 15, Pre-med Student. Location: Raleigh, North Carolina.
Subject's Doctor- Dr. Reynolds Shepherd, PhD, Behavioural Psychology. Dr. Brown was unable to record this session hence her assistant took the place.   

San Diego, Fourteen Years Ago...

Family dinners in my house were never small affairs. And when we had guests, my father spared no expense to show his lavish lifestyle. It might be gleeful for the guests who arrived but for me, it was more of same. Everything about the dinner was same, including faces. Today, Naveen Banerji—my father best friend and colleague had joined us. My grandmother had returned from Manchester and remained mostly inside her room. Mother and Daniella had also come from Atlanta and even Mia flew from France to stay a few weeks with us. Only Sylvan...that stupid promisebreaker didn't come. He hadn't returned since he went to college and whole winter and spring had passed. Christmas without him was lonely. No gifts this time.

Mia was sitting in front of me and her sole concentration was on the chowder soup. She wasn't happy. Maybe she wasn't happy because I wasn't happy. Mia looked so much like mom and I spared a glance at her, sitting next to my father at head of table and beside him, his younger brother—my uncle Shawn. Grandmother was happily chatting with Daniella and my mother. I dared not to meet my father's face because it was difficult to stay still. Father had changed a lot...he was not the same man I knew anymore.

Involuntarily, my hand brushed softly on my thighs which were bandaged. Three days ago, I was feasting on cookies and ginger ale at night when he returned from hospital. I tried very best to not make a sound but the cookie plate clattered down with little thud and my father's bloodshot eyes found me sitting. He first smiled at me but everything about him was disarrayed. He appeared as a man wounded from battlefield, defeated and conquered. And that rage needed to be unleashed. I tried to run but the belt in his hand was faster.

It still hurt.

Naveen, father and uncle were discussing among themselves and mom pointedly ignored them. Her face was tired, worn out beyond her age as if time had asked her more than expected. My mother always seemed like a small fairy from the books I used to read, beautiful and lithe. And trapped.

Aunt Mia glanced up and gave a small smile, giving a low dip of chin for me to eat my food. She was right. No one wanted father to become...angry. We all knew what happened when he became angry.

"...funding aren't secured, Steven." I heard Naveen speaking, "We have to delay this project."

"Unacceptable! They have been skipping it for two months now." my father's voice was steel yet smooth, "I see we have to chose a different sponsor."

"Are you sure?" Naveen entreated with hesitation, "Neurachemy has been working with us for five years now. Losing them will cost us bad."

Mom's flinty-pitched tone joined in, "Weren't you negotiating with that multinational pharma company? The one with that Greek manager?"

"Panacea Labs, yes." Naveen replied, followed by clutter of spoon, "They are very promising. Their research has been gaining popularity around globe."

"And attracting controversy." Mia snorted, peering up from her position, "Surely you can do better than a foreign company."

"My dear, Mia." my father cajoled me to look at him and I found his face straining against her remark, "You can state your opinion after completing your residency. Surely you can do better than being knotted in one place for three years."