Guns and Mirrors

EIGHTEEN

This is a double update as per usual- Chapter 17 was uploaded before this so please make sure you read them in the correct order :)

♕Harley Anderson♕

My eyes observe everyone outside of the club. A group of girls wearing tight dresses walk past a group of guys who whistle at them and they send them flirtatious winks. Another couple seem to be arguing and the girl throws a phone at her boyfriend's chest before walking away.

I try focus my attention on these people- how they are- but I still struggle to stop trembling and to get enough air in my lungs. With my eyes focusing on my lap, I try and calm my breathing.

Fuck. I miss home. I miss Oregon so much. I miss Olivia and Mia, and Audrey and Caleb. I miss Emery and Mason and the track. I miss college and writing. I thought that things were hard back then- given they weren't easy- but now it's even worse. Now I'm beaten while Danté is busy beating someone and I'm part of a gang. A gang. How is that even possible?

I wonder if I'll ever get my life in Oregon back.

"Harley?" A voice says and my head shoots up to see Ramiro. I plaster on a fake smile but I think he sees through it.

"Hey Ramiro."

"What are you doing out here?" He asks and I gulp, letting out a breath.

"It, erm, was a bit too much in there. Needed some air." I reply and he nods, seemingly understanding and when I notice that he isn't clad in gymwear, I raise a brow. "Aren't you supposed to be fighting?"

He shakes his head. "No. I'm not on tonight."

I nod, looking back down at my feet. I feel him come stand beside me and then hear the sound of a lighter and I look up to see him lighting a cigarette that rests between his lips. He takes a long pull before blowing out the smoke and when he notices me watching, he sticks it out in a silent offer.

"No thanks." I reply.

"I got some green if you want." He says and I shake my head at the offer.

"I don't smoke."

His eyebrows raise in surprise before he continues to silently smoke. As much as his presence is calming, I'd like to be able to freak out in peace.

"Cameron is a good guy. If you're worried about his bloodlust in the ring, I think you should relax." He says suddenly and I look up to meet his gaze.

"How would you know?"

Ramiro lets out a snort. "I've seen enough fighters to know the ones in danger and those who aren't. Cameron is only doing what he has to."

"And what fighter are you?" I find myself asking. Ramiro pauses from smoking. Then he shrugs nonchalantly.

"I do what I got to do too. No matter if I hate it. Being part of a gang isn't all glorious like it's made out in media."

I only look away, not knowing what to say. Ramiro puts out his cigarette with his boot before looking at me. He seems to study me for a while, hazel eyes guarded.

"Are you holding up?"

The question catches me off guard and I have to blink away my confusion and shock before I can answer him. Although, I'm not quite sure what to respond with. Without thinking too much of it, I reply honestly:

"Barely." I reply before clearing my throat. "I mean, I just don't like the way things have to be. And I know that probably sounds stupid and pathetic to you bu-"