"This class is ridiculous, and so are the teacher's squeaky shoes which are old trend that nobody even wears."
"Tell me about it? I've been looking at those shoes for about a week. What do you mysterious person from another class do besides...
A few day had passed and surprise, surprise they actually spoke. They spoke quite a lot in fact, in the morning, at lunch, in class, and when the day ended. It was hard to stop though, the conversations continued to flow like there was no tomorrow. They had so many things to talk about, so many things to agree and disagree. It was a lot of fun.
She enjoyed spending time with him, more than anything in this world and she hoped it would stay this way- that they would be like this forever– even though this was too much to as for, it was her wish, but all good things soon must come to an end.
It was a lot to deal with and right now she couldn't do it. Everything that seemed to be okay, that seemed like it was going to work it just ended up being for the worst. It was hard to explain all in one go, but little by little things are going to be fine, right? Right.
Sydney bit her bottom lip and gripped onto her shirt. She sighted heavily, the weight on her shoulders soon falling onto her stomach. The girl was standing in his steps, it was the weekend and today they had planned to go out on their first date, but Sydney came here to tell him the truth. She was afraid of all this, if her father found out about Austin he'd kill the boy and she'd... she'd loose her mind.
Once the male appeared in front of her, his face beaming with a perfect smile plastered on his pretty pink lips, his light brown messy hair, and his sweet and gentle eyes looking at hers. She melted at the sight, he looked amazing with those black jeans and a button up designed shirt.
What could she say? Oh shit... she felt so stuck. My gosh, Sydney hated when she felt that way– so powerless. The female gulped before looking down at her feet, the large shirt like always and her pair of overly used jeans is what she had on, so simple and underdressed.
"Are you ready for our date? It's going to be so fun! I have so many things planned out." Austin definitely seemed excited. He was truly an amazing guy and Sydney for sure knew that she'd break his heart today, but she knew that he could find someone so much better, someone who'd make him really happy. She would think selfishly for now.
She probably should've never given him the chance in the first place, never should've wrote in that stupid desk, and never should've erased those notes other kids wrote. This was all her fault and her actions had consequences.
Sydney knew what she was going to say from the very start. In fact, last night she had gone over it multiple times to reassure that she knew it by memory but now that she was here, nothing was coming out. She felt so sick as if she were about to pass out anytime soon, but this had to be said already. "Austin... I have to tell you something." Before she got any further Sydney felt her eyes well up, the tears started to form and soon fall.
The boy got worried, what had he done? Was it all too much for the first date? Maybe he just rushed it and she didn't feel comfortable yet. He looked at her and reached out for her hand, feeling the softness of her skin for one second before she suddenly pulled it away. Right then, he knew something was horribly wrong.
"Did I do something wrong?" Austin asked and crossed his arms around his chest, hugging himself trying to seek some sort of comfort meanwhile he thought of all the possibilities he might have with her and thankfully, many came to mind. They couldn't just stop, he'd do something about it. No matter what it was they could go through it together, they really could.
"You didn't do anything wrong, it's just me and well– us. Austin... I can't do this anymore. I can't be with you any longer, you'll get hurt through it all. I know you think there is a way and trust me, I thought it too but there isn't. Everything I thought led to the same thing and you, you won't understand what I am trying to say because there is more to it than you think and I am not allowed to say. I don't want too... no, wait I can't be with you. Call me whatever you want, I know I'm thinking just about my self, but this is for your own good because if anything were to happen to you I don't know what I'll do with myself. You mean so much to me and this is not at all easy; and believe that I am doing this because I know you'll get hurt Austin, one way or another." She had much more to say but when she saw the expression in his face, Sydney panicked. He obviously looked uncomfortable and devastated at the same time even serious as he listened to what she had to say, clenching his fists as some point as his soft chestnut tossled colored hair fell over his eyes.
"Are you serious? Are you just nervous about today? Because if you are-"
"No Austin, it's not that. Please don't make this harder than it already is. I am really trying to keep myself gathered up right now so please don't, I am so sorry this is happening. I really am, I never intended to hurt you." Sydney felt so overwhelmed by this, she couldn't even breath as she held to a cry. She didn't want to feel this way, she felt ridiculous and pitiful.
You are not the hero Sydney, so stop pretending you can make everything be alright.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is this the end Sydney? You never meant to hurt me? That sounds as if it were taken out of a script, everyone says that when it was the first thing they mean. I can't believe it, you are sorry about what exactly Sydney? Huh?" He was indeed angry, his blood was boiling and his tone had increased. He didn't know what to tell her, he felt shitty. Austin felt as if he weren't enough for her... that he had let her down. He didn't even know what he was feeling to be honest, everything was hitting him all at once.
Sydney though, was feeling heavier and heavier everytime he spoke. She was trying to tell him what she had in mind, but he would cut her off with another question until the last one set her off. "Everything! I am sorry about everything, okay? I am sorry that I met you. I really wish I didn't– because it fucking hurts! It hurts because I love you and I hate that." She exploded, yelling at him with tears and this sharp pain on her chest, making her eyes widen. Oh no- no, no! She never meant to say that. She wasn't sorry that she met him, she wasn't sorry about anything at all.
She couldn't even look at Austin in the eyes, who would after they had said such a thing? Sydney then turned around and walked down the steps, her legs shaking and her hands extremely cold. Fuck... what had she done? The girl then ran towards Kiki's borrowed car and got in, clenching her hand on the steering wheel and screaming a few times until her throat was sore.
Nothing could hurt more than this and she felt sorry for herself.
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