rush//5SOS

17

Calum and Michael watched patiently as the boy got his teeth cleaned, squeezing Calum's hand tightly. He thought it could probably break at this point, but Luke felt so uncomfortable in these situations that he shouldn't be alone.

Michael was wondering where he'd gone wrong. Luke was gaining weight and becoming healthy, he was becoming more upbeat and loved to talk but it suddenly dropped.

But he'd watched Luke take his medicine, so why wouldn't it work?

**

"I don't want to talk," Freya said, turning away from Ashton as he walked in. She didn't have the energy, and she knew what he was asking.

"Well you have to otherwise you won't be out of here before the end of the school year,"

"I'm not smart anyway, so fuck off,"

"No,"

He sat down on a chair, frowning because she was breaking into her old habits again. Ashton really felt he was getting somewhere.

"I need to understand why you did it,"

"When did you see?"

"The other night, which hopefully won't happen again if you look at me,"

"I keep getting electric shock feelings in my body,"

"Yeah, that happens I'm afraid,"

"I just wanted something of my life back. Clearly I wasn't getting the rush from anything else here but it was like something I had to do to think clearly. It was bugging me, it had become my routine,"

"But the first two weeks here are about breaking that, and you've set yourself back so far,"

"So I'm gonna be locked in here for ages?"

"No, because I want you to meet new people, see how they've coped, and that it's worth living. There's so much you can do in the world, and no one in the place wants self harm to impact your life like it has,"

Ashton looked at the girl hopefully as she rolled to face him, her cheeks flushed and nose runny. She'd been on a lot of highs, and clearly they were all catching up.

"Why is it worth living if there's no rush?"

"That's the thing Freya, you can find a rush in your normal life, you just need to know where to look,"

"Is Calum free?"

"Why?"

"He seems like someone who would cuddle me because I feel sad and I want to speak to someone who might relate,"

Although he knew Calum was very far into the recovery, there was always a chance to step back if the wrong thing was said.

"I will talk to Naomi,"

"Luke just seems to like him a lot and,"- "You don't have to explain yourself. If you think something will make you feel better then we try it,"

She smiled and nodded, starting to feel more relaxed in her environment. It didn't stink anymore, and she had all her clothes back. Ashton has been patient and stuck with her, and she didn't miss her family as much as she thought.

Maybe because she never saw them anyway.

Calum was surprised when Naomi asked him if he could see Freya, accepting the offer once he knew Ashton would be there. Freya didn't see it, because she was stubborn too, but Ashton got what he wanted easily.

He just had a sense of control and sometimes the firmness scared Calum. Of course, her case was just right for him because it takes a lot of strength on both sides- he was glad he got put with someone who worked at his pace.

If this had happened to him, he would get to speak instead of be questioned but he realised it was about the level of trust.

Freya wouldn't speak on her own.