rush//5SOS

7

Luke stood in the shower, Michael sat outside in his room. It was precautionary, but he didn't mind. He liked Michael and knew he was safe.

After seeing that girl, he had a mountain of questions ready to ask.

Even though it was night, he'd had a tough day and refused to eat until he'd showered. Michael had to agree. But for now, he let the burning water run down his skin.

The burning water did nothing for Freya.

This time, it felt like there was no relief for the absence of energy and rush.

As she stood under the waterfall, someone knocked on her door then opened it.

"I'm showering,"

"I can see, may I ask why you chose to do it at eleven at night?"

"May I ask why you, a male adult, is in the room while I do it?"

"Because it's against the rules to not have someone in the room and the nurses will get you in trouble. I won't,"

"Why?"

"Because that will be a step back rather than a step forward. At least this shows me you want to feel better,"

"No, I wanted the rush feeling back. I couldn't get it,"

"That's a shame,"

"Fuck off,"

"And you're back," he chuckled. It was rude, but better than the distress she was in earlier.

"Please leave, I'm getting dried,"

"I'll be waiting in your room,"

The towels here were soft and fluffy so she took her time getting back into her pyjamas; maybe he'd leave.

However, she knew he wouldn't because he was stubborn. Clearly she couldn't see that in herself though.

"Can you brush my hair?"

"I'm not a hairdresser,"

"I don't feel well,"

"You always say that around night. In what way don't you feel well?" he asked curiously, more than intrigued as to why the girl's mood changed so much at night.

"My wrists are super itchy, my head hurts and I feel dehydrated,"

"Oh, I'm sorry you have to go through that. Would you like some water?"

"Please,"

He stepped outside for a moment and got her a water bottle, helping to plait her hair. As he finished, it clicked.

This was when she would have the most in her, so her body was asking for more of something. As the drugs wore off, the itching got worse.

Freya wondered how they all knew how to do hair, specifically plaits. Maybe it was so she couldn't pull it out.

"I don't want to be alone anymore. When do I get my phone back?"

"Not until you realise you have a problem,"

"Ok, fine, I have a problem,"

"Don't believe it,"

"Why do you hate me so much?" she whined.

"I don't hate you, but there's certain things I have to do to make sure you have a recovery,"

"What do you want to understand? I've told you my life,"

"No, you haven't. Ok so you started drinking once or twice when you were fifteen, when did that become a habit?"

He didn't expect her to answer, more to throw a rude comment and tell him to leave than anything, so he was pleasantly surprised when this wasn't the case.

"This year," she said truthfully, "I got really stressed but then alcohol wasn't enough so I wasted all my money. Only, when it wore off I felt so numb and depressed and...I-I,"

"Did you really feel depressed or were you throwing that around?"

"Throwing it around?"

Even she was beginning to question it.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm not depressed," she laughed off.

"Because I know everything there is to know about you, and I beg to differ,"

"You know my weight," she asked, shrinking back. This shocked the man, that she was most concerned about this. Not about the stuff she took, or the things she did, or her fears. Her weight.

There was another sign. Low self-esteem. She was irritable, anxious, self harmed, had disturbed sleep and the list could go on.

Suddenly the girl had the urge to cry. This complete stranger knew her weight throughout my life and it was shameful.

"That's what you're most worried about?" Ashton asked softly, knowing he was on touchy ground.

"I didn't want you to see that," she cried, watching him sit on the end of her bed.

"It isn't anything bad, if anything you're a little underweight,"

"But before,"

"Yeah, and the waving up and down interests me however that's not what I want to talk about right now. I'm trying to understand you,"

"How can you do that if I don't even understand myself?"