I Call it a Draw

Sharing

I look at him, he is waiting for my answer, I have to say something.

"I... I don't know. What about you go to my house?"

He sighs. "No, I want you to go to my house, will you?"

I lean on the door a bit, only to shield myself from him, from his stare. I don't know how to handle this without upsetting him.

"I... I can't..."

"Why?" he seems exasperated and I can feel an aura of coldness around me.

This doesn't seem like a conversation to me anymore, it is more like an interrogatory, one where if I am not cautious enough I will end up digging my own grave.

My reply comes out weaker than what I expected. "Because.... I am busy"

That is such a terrible lie, how am I busy if the only thing that I have to do that week is attend to that meeting with him?

He retrieves his hand from the door and it closes due to my weight on it, I end up kneeling with the door closed in front of my face. I don't dare to open it, I know he is there. But my hand trembles when I reach the doorknob.

He must be mad, I can hear him outside.

"Yao, are you ok?"

Why isn't he mad? Is it a trap? No, remember Yao, he's changed, no need to panic. "Yes... I... I am fine."

"Well... open the door."

I open it hesitantly, his expression is not tense, not angry, and he almost seems calm, almost, because I can see a bit of worry on his eyes. He takes a step back and holds his hands together. I am not sure if it is consciously or not but it makes feel less uneasy.

He talks again, but his voice is soft. "Are you afraid of me? I am not mad."

"Of course not- I take a deep breath -you are not a threat to me now."

"But I was. Is that what this is about? If that is the case I apologize."

His behavior makes me feel awful, he hasn't done anything to me and still this happens. "No, is not about that. I just fell and the door closed, really. "

He sighs again and offers me his hand. After a moment I take it, and the fact that it is not cold surprises me but also soothes away the shreds of fear I had.

"Yao, we need to talk. I will leave you alone for now, but I will come back later and-"

"Hey Russia, what are you doing on Yao's door? Are you spying on him? I guess old habits never disappear."

Oh no, that's America's voice. I hear footsteps approaching, I retrieve my hand quickly while Russia just frowns.

"Didn't you hear me? Why are you standing in front of his door?" How weird, his voice sounds different, it isn't his usual carefree tone.

"That is none of your business America." Russia's voice is harsh, too aggressive for just a little of teasing.

I don't really need this right now. I want them both to go away.

"Why are you so touchy Russia? Did Yao already rejected you? I told you he is afraid of you, he wouldn't-"

Russia interrupts him. "Not now America."

A part of me wishes he hadn't interrupted him, after all if this is because of a stupid game between them I would really like to know. The other part of me wants them to leave as soon as possible so I can have a rest.

But it seems that America in not in favor of my wish for peacefulness because he keeps on approaching.

"Don't be stubborn Russia and admit that you lost already."