As I Collide, I See I Am a Paradox // White Collar

TWELVE

Flashbacks remind us of what happened. They haunt us. They're stories of what our lives used to be like.

~

Seven-year-old Kira Bailey was washing the dishes all afternoon and her little arms were feeling extremely weary and she was totally worn out. If only she could sit down for just a minute. She dismissed that thought immediately. Jed and Kirsten Landon took her in despite the complaints of her former foster parents. Sitting about lazily was no way to repay the hardworking family who tolerated her.

She picks up a porcelain dish and is about to put it in the sink to clean it when her arms gave away. The dish falls from her hands and lands on the floor with a smash. Shattered glass scatters everywhere. Fear gnawed at her heart. Nothing she did now would take her away from the beating that was about to come. She drops to the ground and begins to pick up the pieces as quickly as she could, but it was too late. "You clumsy little freak! How dare you?!" Kira's head shoots up to see Kirsten striding towards her, her face contorted in anger.

Before Kira realized what was going on, the Landon matriarch yanked her up by the front of her shirt and delivered one sharp slap across her left cheek. Kira cries out in pain only to receive another slap. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Landon. I'm s-sorry." Her body shook with sobs.

"Clean this up. Now!" She barked. Kira did as told, trying to stem the tears that were flowing down her face. After she did that, Kirsten roughly grabs her by the elbow and shoves her into a closet underneath the stairs. "You wait! I'll have Jed deal with you once he's home!" She slammed the door on her face and left her sobbing.

Kira drew her knees up to her chest and curled herself up as small as she could. Kirsten's warning rang through her ears. She hoped against hope that Jed would not use the belt, but that would never happen. He came home and she was yanked out of the closet. "We give you food to eat and a place to stay and this is how you repay our generosity?! By rebelliously destroying dishes?!" He bellowed, his face red with anger. And then the beating began.

Kira lost count how many times the belt made contact with her back. She learned long ago not to cry for mercy. The last thing that she remembered was being thrown in the closet. She sat there, trying to nurse her wounds as best she could, hoping for the millionth time that her parents would walk inside the house and she would be home.

Home?

What was home?

She never had a home.

The scene shifted and she found herself in her room. Jed walked into the room, a cold and unemotional look on his face, "You're absolutely no good. Nothing more than a freak. A terrible disappointment. I'd rather not waste my time with you here. Pack up and leave. There's no place for you in this house."

"S-Sir—" Kira began slowly, her voice fearful when Jed grasped her chin none too gently, "Not another word. Leave. Now."

And there she was again.

No one claimed her.

She was back at square one.

At least she wouldn't be staying there anymore. She thought. Kira packs her things, grateful she would be able to take them. The other times she was kicked out of houses, they never let her take anything and there she was again with nothing.