28: Evan

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Evan sat in homeroom nervous as anything for Connor, even though Connor couldn't care less about it, he didn't break a sweat at these sorts of things. Evan managed to get his hall pass and ran over to Connor's classroom, just as Connor got up to present. He smiled as he saw Evan hiding near the window. Evan watched him deliver his monologue, it was written as a reflection, at the point when Macbeth realises his wife is dead but has to put his grief aside to deal with the oncoming battle. And Connor, well, he blew Evan away. Evan had only helped Connor with his lines not the actual performance himself. And yet there he was, his Connor Murphy practically performing for broadway. He cried in anguish at the death of Lady Macbeth, Evan could see the actual tears rolling down his face, and he saw his eyes turned wild as he contemplated his own death in battle. Half the student in the class looked terrified and Evan did not blame them. He even jumped on top of one student's desk, before collapsing onto the floor to signify Macbeth's downfall. The students clapped politely and Connor stood up and dramatically took a bow, winking at Evan as he did so. Evan just shook his head. He couldn't believe what he just saw. It was talent, for sure. Connor Murphy had something no one else did, and now Evan knew what it was.

Evan finally met Connor at lunch. He ran up to him and squeezed him tightly.

"Hey Evan you're killing me here." Evan let go.

"Sorry. But like YOU WERE AMAZING!" Connor just laughed. But Evan wouldn't let him off that easily. "Seriously Connor, did you enjoy it? You looked like you enjoyed it." Connor thought for a minute then smiled.

"You know what i really did." Evan smiled reached as he reached up for a kiss. Evan went on talking about Connor's performance to the point of overkill to Jared and Alana, who were very much openly a couple now. Alana picked some fries off Jared's plate.

"Hey those were mine!" Alana just smiled at him.

"Not anymore." She waved the last one in his face before eating it. Jared just shook his head.

"You are just lucky i love you." And he kissed her forehead as she rested against his shoulder. Evan felt his chest tighten. Jared and Alana were saying "I love you"? Evan suddenly felt self conscious, he and and Connor never that. Should they be saying that? I mean it's true that Jared and Alana have probably been dating for longer than Evan and Connor had been but still. Is there some sort of flowchart to follow? Does anybody have a map? Some direction on what to do? Did it need saying in the first place? I mean couples all the time say "i love you" but it's more of a token thing, do they necessarily mean it? And did Evan love Connor? That one stuck in Evan's head for some time, making his insides flip and his palms sweat. I mean the truth was, Evan just didn't know. He didn't know what it felt like to love someone. I mean he loved his mum but that's just another spectrum. He didn't know what it felt like to be "in love". So then how would he ever know he was? Evan was becoming very aware of the fact he was overthinking so he tried to think of something else. He failed miserably.

School ended soon enough and Evan made his way over to the music room. Zoe was there, she got the guitars out and got to helping Evan with the chords. Over the next few weeks Evan finished his song, and Zoe helped him compose the music. Every afternoon they practiced, and Evan got better and better. Evan often laughed to himself, a couple of months ago if he thought of doing something like this he would have fainted. There was no way Evan would be caught in the same room as Zoe let alone talking to her, and singing in front of her.

"You know," she said one day, "you really have an amazing voice." Evan smiled.

"Thanks, my mum used to sing to me all the time i guess i got it from her." Zoe smiled.

"Connor can sing too you know, really well actually." Evan raised his eyebrows.

"The only time i hear Connor sing is when we are belting out show tunes and normally we are just singing like idiots anyway." Zoe laughed.

"Now that i can imagine." She paused for a minute, "Connor and i used to sing all the time as kids... then one day he just stopped... i- sorry." Zoe snapped back and grabbed her guitar. "Okay why don't we go from the top?" Evan nodded.

They went through the song together, start to finish without error. Zoe though for a second. "Hey Evan, can you play it again, i want to try something."

"Oh okay. Ready?" Zoe nodded.

"Yup." Evan started playing on the guitar, while Zoe started playing on the piano. And it was unbelievably perfect. Evan turned around.

"I didn't know you could play piano AND guitar." Zoe shrugged.

"I guess I'm just a woman of many talents young one." Evan frowned.

"You do realise I'm like a whole year older than you right?" Zoe mockingly gasped.

"Scandalous!" Evan laughed.

"The song, i think it's ready." Zoe put her hand on Evan's knee and smiled.

"I think it's ready too. Now all we have to do is wait for the special day."

...

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