18: Connor

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Connor texted Zoe saying that he'd be walking home.

"Zoe can just pick us up you know?" Evan shrugged and shuffled his shoe along the ground, Connor picked up the hint. "Hey, did something happen?" Evan just nodded. So him and Evan walked home, Evan made Connor listen to his show tunes playlist as he jammed out to "Candy Store" from Heathers and "Man Up" from a weird-ass showed called The Book of Mormon. Connor smiled at Evan the goofball that was was swinging his hips and waving his arms about. They got to Connor's house, and went straight to Connor's room, as he knew that something had gone on between him and Zoe that Connor didn't know about. Connor sat himself on his bed, and gestured for Evan to do them same. Evan closed the door and sat.

"Okay Hansen, spill." Evan look a deep breath.

"So Zoe and I were hanging out before school-" Connor interrupted.

"Woah woah okay holdup. Did you just use the words "hanging out" in context?" Evan giggled, "I'm impressed, anyway continue." Evan composed himself and tried again.

"Yeah we were just walking around the corridors and we got to the cafeteria and she stopped, and so i stopped because i was i mean to just walk off without her? So i just stopped she she kind of just stood there looking at me and then and... she kissed me." Connor didn't really know how to respond. Of course he knew about all this but was trying to figure out what the issue was. If he liked Zoe he should have been fine?

"So what's the issue? You got kissed and?" Evan shrugged.

"I freaked and and ran off, I've been avoiding her since." Connor blinked.

"Wait what? Why?" Evan collapsed on Connor's bed.

"I don't know it just felt... wrong." Connor frowned.

"But you said you've had a crush on my sister for ages." Evan went quiet.

"Yeah i know... but maybe... maybe i don't anymore." Connor shuffled closer to Evan.

"What do you mean? You don't like her anymore? Cause that's fine Evan there is nothing wrong with that. Feelings come and go that's just the way it is sometimes." Evan bit his lip.

"But the feeling hasn't gone its just... moved on." Connor thought for a minute.

"So you like someone else now?" Evan sighed.

"I don't know, i don't know if i like them like that or not because it feels different." Connor half-smiled.

"Okay well, tell me then. How does it feel?" Evan started sweating.

"It's just like, i never really thought of them that much before and then, then i did, and i kept getting excited when i saw them but I thought that was just normal when you meet someone new type thing. But then I couldn't stop thinking about them, I couldn't sleep or eat. I just couldn't stop thinking about how much i wanted to-" Evan's words sudddently faltered as he looked up at Connor who was sitting right beside him. Without warning Evan pressed his face against Connor's kissing him. Connor's heart stopped, like he had all the air in his lungs knocked right out of him. Their lips only touched for a second, not even a second, but it felt like an electric shock on Connor's lips. He didn't know what to say. The whole ordeal happened so quickly that Connor had to question whether it really happened at all.

He laughed nervously, "Well I have to say Hansen that is not what I was expecting out of this conversation-" Evan didn't move.

"I'm sorry." he whispered.

"No it's fine it just took me by surprise." Evan shook his head violently.

"I'm sorry." He said once again a little louder. "I don't know why I did that. I didn't mean it I'm sorry." Connor went to keep up to comfort Evan but he bolted for the door.

"Hey Hansen just calm down." He was shaking from head to toe now, Connor didn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry! IM SORRY" Evan started hit his forehead with his fists. Connor scrambled to him, trying to pry his hands away from his face. Hot tears streamed down his cheeks and he was wheezing, unable to breathe. Panic attack. Connor was no stranger to them himself, but seeing Evan so distraught was confronting. Connor felt his heart break inside him. He just wanted to fix it, to make him stop panicking, stop hurting. He just wanted to kiss it better for him.

Connor pulled Evans arms apart and kissed him... Shocked at first Evan did nothing, just sat there trembling. In any other circumstance a kiss like this may have seemed gross or awkward to Connor, all wet as Evan's tears made their way into his mouth. But it wasn't gross at all, it felt completely natural, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Connor could feel Evan slowly calming down, as his lips began to move with Connor's, as his hands slid behind Connor's back pulling him closer. Connor pulled away, to make sure if Evan was alright. Evan just stared up at him, all wide-eyed and red-faced.

"Why? Why did you do that?" Connor laughed.

"Why do you think?" Evan just sorta looked around, like a deer in the headlights.

"To get me to stop freaking out?" Connor just kept laughing.

"Yeah partially that." Connor bit his lip and smiled, "I like you Evan." His heart jolted as he heard himself say the words. "I like you so mean much you drive me insane!" Evan laughed but he looked confused.

"Really?" Connor nodded.

"I saw you and Zoe kiss in the cafeteria Evan. It drove me crazy and i snapped. What do you think i was trying to say to you back in the hall before i left? "I thought with all the time we'd been spending together and that time at the park and with all those emails and texts between us that..."" Evan just sat there staring at him, "... you liked me." And all of a sudden it seemed to click for Evan. He beamed.

"So, so you like me?" Connor smiled. He helped Evan to his feet.

"Yes Evan. You have no idea how long I've wanted to kiss you." Evan's smile disappeared. Connor went to ask what was wrong but before he knew it, Evan was on top of him. Evan has launched himself at Connor with such force that he completely fell onto his bed. He smiled as he reached for Evan's waist, pulling him up so that Connor could kiss him without breaking his neck. Their lips smashed together in a very ungraceful fashion. Connor pulled away and laughed.

"What?" Evan asked, smiling from ear to ear. Connor shook his head laughing.

"You are such a bad kisser Evan!" Evan blushed.

"Sorry." Connor smiled.

"That's alright Evan," Connor smiled wickedly as he rolled so that Evan was on his back, "I'll teach you." Connor leaned down and kissed Evan, moving his lips gently. Evan slid his hands around Connor's neck pulling him in for the kiss, and trying his best to copy what Connor was doing. Connor had to admit to himself, Evan was a fast learner. Connor moved away from Evan's mouth, kissing his cheek, then his jaw, then kiss neck. He sat up.

"What is it?" Evan looked concerned. Connor hopped off Evan and inspected a red mark at the corner of his neck.

"What's that Evan?" Evan sat up. Conner pulled back the corner of Evan's shirt to reveal five bruises across Evans shoulder. The he realised. "Holy shit Evan i am so sorry." He didn't realise how much of a grip he had on Evan. Evan looked over his shoulder.

"Oh that." Connor sat back.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Evan shrugged.

"You were in a lot more pain than i was, honestly i hardly noticed it." Connor ran his fingers over the marks. He then leant down and kissed the top one on his neck. Evan's whole body tensed. Connor laughed.

"Shut up." Connor kissed the other four marks, lingering at Evan's shoulder blade. He turned back around to face Evan, whose face was completely red and who was having a hard time breathing.

"Cat got your tongue Hansen." He looked at Connor, but couldn't contain a smile.

"Shut up." Connor just laughed.

"Any other guilty pleasures i should know about Hansen?" Evan grabbed a pillow and whacked Connor over the head. They both laughed for a while until Evan sighed.

"What is it?" Evan shrugged.

"I should probably go talk to your sister..." 

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