12: Connor

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Words could not explain how Connor felt sitting to Evan like that. Connor laughed to himself, he doubted even Evan's own words could describe how he felt in that moment. It was at the scene where Noah starts writing those letters to Allie, when Connor felt Evan's arm shift under his. He watched from the corner of his eye as Evan's hand shifted ever-so-slightly over the scars which covered his arm. He felt Evan's thumb rest against his wrist, which sent a warm feeling through Connor's body. He tried not to smile as he glanced down the their two arms touching. He knew what Evan was doing. He was protecting him. Telling him it was okay to be scared and to hurt. Connor felt Evan gently stoke the scar on his wrist with his thumb, as if he was trying to heal it himself. And while of course the scar never faded, in it's own way it worked. Connor held back tears as he caught a glimpse of Evan, who was also holding back tears in his own eyes. Because no words needed to be said, not that any could be said in such mixed company, but at least they both knew. Connor and Evan. They both knew that they were there for each other. It is was wonder what such a small gesture can mean between two people.

...

The movie finished and Evan was beside himself. Zoe was consoling him.

"It's okay Evan it was just a movie." Evan's face was all red and puffy.

"But, but but she died!" Zoe laughed to herself.

"Well that's what happens to old people Evan." Evan shook his head violently, Connor noticed he did that a lot, especially if he was dealing with a lot of emotion at one time.

"No but, but she forgot and then and then," another lot of waterworks built up, "... she REMEMBERED!" Evan burst into another lot of tears. Zoe just shrugged.

"Well that's life i guess, people get old, forget stuff and then they just die." Connor wrapped his arm around this little ball of emotions crying beneath him.

"God don't be so insensitive Zoe." Connor said, wiping his own eyes with his sleeve. Zoe shook her head.

"Really? You too? I mean okay the first couple of times it's sad yes but you've seen this movie like a thousand times and you still cry over it? You're such a softie." Connor fake-scowled. Zoe just rolled her eyes smiling.

"Am not!" He gently pulled Evan, encouraging him to get off the bed. "Come on Hansen, I'll show you my room." Connor helped Evan off the bed and down the hall into Connor's bedroom. Evan shut the door behind them both. That struck something with Connor. In Zoe's room, her door was wide open. But as soon as they went into Connor's room Evan instinctively shut it behind him. It send Connor's head spinning...

Evan looked around, looking surprised. Connor just laughed.

"Not what you were expecting huh? No heavy metal posters or clothes all over the floor?" Evan sort of smiled. While he may not seem it, Connor was quite a neat person, when it came to his stuff at least. But he'd gladly go and trash Zoe's room any day of the week. Evan made his way to a small bookshelf beside Connor's bed. He laughed and pulled out a thick-volume hardcover book.

"You've read Harry Potter?" Connor beamed as he sat on his bed next to Evan.

"Hell yeah it's my favourite series." Evan shook his head in disbelief.

"I just never imagined you as a Harry Potter kind of guy!" Connor laughed.

"Even Slytherins deserve a place in Hogwarts Evan." Evan put the book back and sat right next to Connor.

"No i think you'd be Gryffindor, because you're brave. You've been through so much and all on your own." Connor smiled, turning to face Evan.

"Well then you'd be Gryffindor too Evan." Evan started fidgeting with the edge of Connor's sheets. Connor reached over and placed his hand over Evan's to stop him. Connor noticed that when he did this Evan seemed to calm down, his posture straightened and he looked right into his eyes. Connor swallowed hard. God he was so close, he could hear Evan's breaths, feel Evan's skin beneath his. Connor's mind went crazy. He could think of a thousand things he wanted to do right then. God he wanted to kiss Evan so badly, his entire body ached for it. He wanted to lay with Evan on his bed and kiss him, hold him in his arms for forever. He wanted to pin Evan up against the wall and run his fingers all over his body. He wanted everything. All of it. All at once. But instead Connor just stood up and went to open his door.

"Zoe said she was taking you home right?" Evan nodded and he followed Connor. Zoe went to hop in her car to take Evan home, Connor followed her out the front to say goodbye. Evan went to walk away went something stopped him. He walked up to Connor and whispered just one thing to him.

"Connor if it ever gets bad again, please don't hurt yourself again. Just call me. Please. I don't care when it is just call me okay? And I'll be here. And i'll fix it." And with that Evan wiped his eyes and hopped into Zoe's car. Connor was left speechless by Evan to the point where he couldn't even bring himself to say goodbye, so he just waved, and watched as the car pulled out of the driveway and disappeared down the road. 

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