I want you. I've made my choice. [47]

Start from the beginning
                                    

I was still at a lost for words. Everything she was saying was now clouding my mind.

"So I came back for you." She whispered before pulling me into another kiss.

Slowly I pulled away from her grip. Not truly wanting this feeling to stop but it had to.

"Y/N, you have to stop this." I could feel my heart starting to skip beats and that's when I knew I had to put a stop to this.

"Stop what Camila, stop feeling the way I feel about you? Stop loving you? Because that's gonna be impossible."

No. No she can't be telling the truth, she can't be serious. When I poured my heart out to her she completely shot them down. She told me she didn't feel the same and that we would never be again.

"Y/N. You need to think about what you're saying, ok?"

"I know what I'm saying Camila damn. You don't think I know how I feel."

I put my head and shrugged. "I think that maybe you're confused right now."

She let out a bitter laugh. "I'm definitely not confused."

I don't know how to feel right now. Was she being serious, did she really still have those feelings for me? Or was this just a phase? Was she not in her right mind?

"Look I get it Camila, I know you're going through stuff but that's what I'm here for. To help you through anything.

I stared up into her eyes looking for some truth in her words.

"If you wanna wait then I'll wait. I'm not going to force you."

.   * ☆         * .   * ☆         * .   * ☆         *

Y/N's POV.

She stood silently for a minute. I wish I knew what she was thinking. The look on her face was making me nervous as hell.

"Y/N." She said while shaking her head

"Don't. If it's not what I want to hear then don't say it."

I don't think I could handle any reaction from her that wasn't her running and jumping into my arms, telling me how much she missed me and wanted us to start over. I couldn't handle her telling me no or that I was crazy for trying now.

By the look on her face, I knew the and definitely wasn't going to be what I wanted.

"Y/N, I really feel that we're not ready for this. You just got out of a relationship that you thought was gonna last. You claimed to have been in love so it's not a good idea for us to jump back into this so quickly."

I nodded slowly as I let her go.

"Y/N, I don't want us to rush into anything. If this is real, we can't rush it."

"Is it really rushing? We both know that our feelings are still there. I know how you feel about me and now you know how I feel about you. So why wait, on something we've both been without for too long?"

She just stood there with a lost look on her face as she shook her head.

I let out a deep breath. "Or is this not what you want anymore?"

"N-no it's not that Y/N. It's just-you don't get it."

"Get what Camila? Tell me so I can understand." My voice came out a little bit harsh without me meaning it to. But I'm confused, I thought she wanted this, I thought she wanted us.

"Y/N don't be mad, please. You told me we couldn't happen ever again, remember? So what happened to that, why do you suddenly feel different?"

I shrugged. "I'm not mad." I was mad. I was pissed actually, but could I really blame her for feeling the way she does.

Camila looked down at her hands as she played with her fingers and I sighed before pulling her into my stomach.

"Camila look at me." I whispered softly but she shook her head keeping it down. I put my finger under her chin making her look up at me but she closed her eyes tightly. "Camila stop it, open your eyes"

Her eyes fluttered open slowly and the first thing I saw were tears begging to come out. "I'm sorry I upset you Y/N."

Oh great. Now I'm making her cry again...something I seem to be all too good at doing.

I chuckled lightly, as I ran my fingers down her cheeks. I can't believe that's what she's worried about. I get her feelings and she has a right to feel this way. I've hurt her in too many ways before so I don't expect her to jump at this. I'm pissed at myself though. Because if I wasn't being such an idiot then I would have her.

I grabbed her face in my hands making her look up at me. "Look at me babe, you didn't upset me and you haven't did shit wrong. I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself for letting this go on for as long as it did. I'm mad because I was being to stupid to realize that what I wanted was right in my face."

She sniffed as she looked up at me. "I do love you Y/N. I promise I do, b-but I'm just scared."

I nodded pulling her into a hug. "I know it. I know and I'm sorry for making you feel this way. But I can't be mad at you for not wanting to do this right now. I can't."

She shook her head and her mouth formed to say something else but I cut her off before she could.

I grabbed her face and kissed her head softly before moving to her lips placing a small peck on them.

"Goodnight Camila."

I let her go and sluggishly made my way up the stairs to my room. I flopped down on the bed taking my shoes off not even bothering to get undressed. My life currently sucks but I put myself in this position.

I got nobody to blame but myself.. but I promise imma get her back soon. She WILL be mine again, I'll do whatever I have to. We will be the happy family that we used to be, and this time I'm not fucking up.

🎭🎭🎭🎭

A/N

Very bitter sweet chapter🤧

Y/N FINALLY AFTER 20 YEARS  ADMITTED TO HER FEELINGS ABOUT CAMILA! SHE FINALLY TOLD CAMILA HOW SHE REALLY FELT!! HER AND NICKI ARE OVER!!!

Buttttttttt

Camila's not sure about it. She doesn't want to get back with Y/N right now.

Can we blame Camila though? :/

UPDATE COMING SOON🙃

OvEr YoU?{sequel to NoT oVeR yOu}Where stories live. Discover now