We Are Alive

Chapter 15 - Anxious

"You're off the case" Fowler informs me, "the FBI is taking over," he says.

"What?" I ask in disbelief.

"But-" I look at Connor and see him staring at me with concern in his eyes.

"We're onto something. We- We just need more time, I'm sure we can-" I try to explain, but Fowler cuts me off by raising his hand to stop me.

"Nat, you don't get it. This isn't just another investigation, it's a fucking civil war!" he yells, "It's out of our hands now" he says and tries to get me to understand.

"No, fuck that! You can't just pull the plug now! Not when we're so close" I plead, if he lets me off the case then they'll send Connor back to Cyberlife, I'll never see him again.

I wonder if that's why Connor looks so concerned, because he also doesn't want to leave me, but I doubt it.

"You're always saying you can't stand androids! Jesus, Natasha, make up your mind!" Fowler sighs, "We're about to crack the case!" I say and place my hands on his desk to get closer to him.

"I know we can solve it," I say confidently, "There's nothing I can do, I'm sorry," Fowler says honestly.

"You're back on homicide, and the android returns to Cyberlife," he says, "I'm sorry Natasha, there's nothing more I can do," he says.

I don't say anything as I leave the room and walk over to my desk, there's not really anyone left at the station, everyone's gone trying to capture deviants.

Connor sits down on my desk and sighs in frustration, "We could have solved this case!" he exclaims, "we just needed more time!"

I sniffle and turn my chair to look at him.

"So you're going back to Cyberlife?" I ask.

Connor clenches his jaw "I have no choice, I'll be deactivated and analyzed to find out why I failed" he says.

It's not right, it's not fair that they're going to do that to him.

"What if we're on the wrong side, Connor?" I ask "what if we're fighting against people who just wanna be free?"

I want him to agree with me, I want him to see how wrong it is for us to punish those who just want freedom.

"When the deviants rise up, there will be chaos. We could have stopped it, but now it's too late" he says, I shake my head and sit back in my chair, he's wrong, I know he's wrong.

"When you refused to kill that android at Kamski's place, you put yourself in her shoes. You showed empathy, Connor" I point out, "Empathy is a human emotion" Connor looks away from me, his eyes are hollow like he's fighting his inner demons.

"I don't know why I did it..." he says but then he shakes his head.

He won't admit it, but he's deviant, he feels emotions but he's too afraid to admit to them, because he knows that if he does, Cyberlife will kill him.

"For a long time, I was afraid to fall in love again, I was afraid that I would be hurt but yet another man. I felt like no one was trustworthy, I even felt like I wasn't deserving of love" I admit to him, I look into his eyes and I see... affection.

"I was scared to feel vulnerable again, to give someone the capability of literally breaking my heart again, but the thing about love is trust, you have to trust that the other person would do anything for your happiness," I say.

"When you saved me from falling off of that ledge, and when you nursed me back to health, you told me you would do anything to save me. You showed me compassion, and you showed me love, even though you didn't know it. I know that you would never do anything to hurt me, I trust you, so that's why I fell for you" I admit.