We Are Alive

Chapter 14 - Yearning

We make it back to my house and I trudge inside, it has been a long and emotional day.

"I'm gonna shower and then go to sleep," I tell him.

He nods and falls onto the couch, I know androids don't get tired but I'm sure he's feeling defeated.

I take a longer shower than usual because showers make me clear my thoughts and right now I'm feeling all kinds of different ways.

I step into my bedroom after my shower and I see Connor standing in front of the mirror staring at the pictures I have around the mirror.

"Connor what the hell!" I screech, he turns and looks at me and his eyes bulge, I had left my towel in the bathroom because I was dried off.

"I uh-" he stutters, "Turn around!" I yell, his eyes travel up and down my body, my body heats up under his gaze, it's so wrong.

"Connor!" I yell, "Right," he says before turning around.

"What are you doing in my bedroom anyway?" I ask, "I was waiting for you, but you were taking a long time so I was just seeing if you were okay" he responds.

"I apologize for staring, that was incredibly rude of me," he says and glances back at me.

I'm putting on underwear as he's glancing at me, he doesn't turn back around, however.

"You're doing it again" I remind him.

"Right," he says again and turns back around.

I put on a T-shirt and walk over to him, "Have you never seen a girl naked before?" I ask.

He turns around and looks at my legs before his eyes travel up to mine, he clears his throat "No" he responds.

"So you've never had sex?" I ask, he visibly gulps and shakes his head.

"Have you thought about it?" I ask.

"I... I have a couple of times" he admits in a voice slightly above a whisper.

He awkwardly scratches the back of his neck and doesn't say anything for a minute.

"You're very beautiful," he says softly, I look back at him to see him slightly blushing.

"You think I'm beautiful?" I ask quietly, "Of course," he says.

He walks over to me and hesitantly places his hand on my chest right above my breast.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

His hand slides up my neck and rests on my cheek, my eyes flutter shut as he pulls me closer to him.

"I want one minute like this, please," he says, I nod and wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his chest.

He picks me up effortlessly and carries me to my bed, he lays down with me on top of him.

He wraps one arm around my waist and the other runs through my hair, "Why do you want this?" I ask.

"I just want to feel like a human for one minute, feel what it would be like to be normal, to have someone to hold," he says.

I look into his eyes and I can tell he's sad, I rest my head back on his chest and he continues to run his hand through my hair.

He hums a song I can't quite recognize, but the way he's humming, it is beautiful.

I find myself falling asleep, very safe in his arms.

I wake up the next morning to my phone ringing, Connor grabs my phone and answers it, "Hello? Yes, okay, I will let her know" he says and then hangs up.

"Connor?" I mumble still groggy, "I'm sorry to wake you, the captain called and wants to see us both at the station," he says.

I nod before snuggling back into Connor's chest and close my eyes.

"Nat? Did you hear me?" he asks.

I nod, "So are you going to get up?" he asks, "Eventually" I mumble.

I want him to hold me before he changes his mind, I know he will, I know he'll go back to believing that he's a machine, so until then I'm savoring every moment I can.