6~Regret

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"Derek, you gotta take it easy" Stiles urged Derek to stop as he punched the punching bag with all the power he had within him "Der" he punched it so hard his hand went through it causing it to have a hole in it, he pulled it out with a growl and threw his desk chair in anger "Derek!!" Stiles exclaimed, surprised with how Derek is acting

"Can you just leave me alone, please" Derek pleaded wiping sweat from his forehead

"Are you being serious?!" Stiles scoffed "It's been 3 weeks Derek, I know you're upset"

"I'm not upset, I'm angry" Stiles was about to speak again but Derek wouldn't let him "I was a simple left turn" Derek said angrily, making no sense to Stiles what so ever

"Derek what the hell are you on about?" Derek ignored him as he flopped down on the bed, putting some headphones on and closed his eyes, attempting to cancel out his surrounding "Don't think that you can ignore me" he yelled taking the headphones from Derek "Now listen, I know what it's like to lose your mum okay, I know how it feels, but just because she's gone, it doesn't mean you get to put a pause on life, life still goes on after death Derek. And as much as it hurts right now, staying in your room and beating the shit out of things ain't gonna make it better. It's spending time with the family that you have left, remember your family?" Stiles doesn't know why he was expecting an answer from him "The silent treatment, nice Derek, very childish" Derek rolled his eyes at that statement "Do you know what has been happening outside this room? Thomas has been having panic attacks, and his nightmares are so bad that he's too scared too close his eyes, Cora is up half of the night, screaming for her mum to come back to her, and you haven't given a single glance at Luca, oh and where is he?" Stiles asked pointing to Luca's empty crib "Oh yeah, he's in my room, because that is the only place someone will get up with him in the night. Now I'm trying not to be selfish right now Derek, but I have just been shot, and all this stress is not good for my heart, so can you please just-"

"I saved you over her" Derek yelled shutting Stiles right up

"I understand" his sentence was short but he understood what Derek was saying "You regret saving me"

"No Stiles I-"

"No, come back to me when you're behaving like yourself again, because the Derek that's in front of me, is not the Derek I fell for" Stiles tried to keep calm as he stormed out of the room, slamming the door whilst doing so, he ran his hand down his face and took a breath before he entered his own room, Stiles went to sit in his desk chair, as he let the 3 younger Hale siblings lay in his bed, he kept an eye on them, trying to think what could be going through their minds at the moment when someone spoke;

"Stiles, are we going to be okay?" he stood up to see that Thomas had his eyes open, Stiles walked over to him and bent down beside the edge of the bed, Thomas laying his head on the pillow, looking sideways at Stiles

"Of course we are, why wouldn't we?" Stiles said softly

"I heard you and Derek arguing" is all he said

"That has nothing to do with it okay, I was just a little bit angry" Stiles said

"Derek can be like that sometimes, he doesn't let how he truly feels surface, he buries it deep, that's what he was like when we thought Jacob died" Thomas explained, Stiles gave him a reassuring smile, as if to say that all will turn out for the better

"What about you, Derek's not the only one who's just lost his mum?"

"It's not just mum, it's everything, first dad dying, and I know that's stupid to say as what he did but I just-"

"That's not at all stupid" Stiles said, letting Thomas know there's no need for an explanation

"So much has happened, and I haven't really had time to take it all in, and I'm scared if I get upset that Derek will be angry, he's been so angry since mum died" Thomas said

"I know, but I have a feeling he's gonna come round soon, and realise that he's being a little bit of a-"

"Dick" Thomas finished for him

"I didn't say that but sure, a dick" Stiles let out a small laugh, which also made Thomas smile slightly

"I just hope he realises before he breaks another punching bag"

*****

"Are you sure you're not coming to school today?" Scott asked Stiles as he picked up his backpack

"I can't, Thomas and Cora are off, Derek's not leaving his room, god knows where Jacob has gotten to, and someone has to look after this little bugger" Stiles said as he handed Luca some blueberries, he giggled as he eat them which left a smile on Stiles' face

"Stiles, they're not your kids to take care of" Scott pointed out

"But they're my responsibility" Stiles answered looking up at Scott

"Okay just....if anything happens, or if you need help, just call" Scott waved goodbye as he left the house, a few minutes later footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs, Stiles believed it to be Thomas or Cora as they were the only ones who would actually come downstairs

"Do you really think we're you responsibility?" Derek's voice rang from behind him

"Derek?" Stiles turned around, shocked that he'd come out of his room

"Do you really think we're you responsibility?" Derek repeated, wanting an answer

"Over the past week or so, yes" Stiles answered

"Why?"

"Why?!" Stiles exclaimed, and Derek nodded "Because you've been nothing but selfish, only caring for your needs, you haven't given a flying f*ck-I apologise for my language-about how the people around you are feeling, or how they're dealing with what happened"

"I'm sorry" Derek said, barely above a whisper

"You damn right better be" Stiles said crossing his arms

"I mean about what I said" Derek said looking at Stiles with apologetic eyes "I didn't mean for what I said to come out the way it did"

"Do you regret it?" Stiles asked "Picking me?"

"There's always going to be a nagging thought at the back of my mind about what would've happened if I chose to save my mum, would she be alive, and you wouldn't, or would you both be alive" Derek spilt what he was feeling "I don't regret what I did, not at all" he said stepping closer towards Stiles, he slowly took Stiles' hands in his and pressed a kiss to his knuckles

"What are you doing?" Stiles asked not completely happy with his apology yet

"If I had to go through it again, I'd still chose you, I'd chose you a hundred times, no matter what, because you mean so much to me, and I don't know what I'd do if I lost you Stiles, my world would've crumbled, because you are my world, and I can't help but feel that way, and I know it's cheesy, but you do that to me-" Stiles cut him off with a kiss

"Shut up" Stiles hummed against his boyfriends lips, as he could feel the smile on Derek's lips
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Published~February 16, 2019

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