Thick and Thin [l. hemmings]

twenty-nine

We sit in silence for a couple minutes, before I finally speak up, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. This is why I didn't want to come back to Seattle."

Luke doesn't acknowledge that I'm talking to him as we drive off. I could tell he was upset. But part of me felt like he had no right to be. He hasn't been here through any of this. He's a trigger for me, seeing him sent me spiralling again.

"Let me out." I demand, looking over at him.

He quickly glances over at me, needing to keep his eyes on the road, "What? No, I'm taking you to your hotel-"

"I know where I'm going. Let me out." I tell him.

"Kelsey, come on, we're like five minutes away, just let me get you home."

"I can't be around you, Luke! If you bring me to my room I'm going to do the rest of my coke because I can't do this! I can't be around you!" I yell.

"We need to talk about this, Kelsey, please talk with me." He begs, turning towards me as we're stopped at a red light.

"I'm still in love with you, Luke! And it's so fucked up for me to say that but- but..." I trail off, unable to finish my sentence before I'm grabbing his face and slamming my lips to his.

Luke quickly deepens the kiss, the two of us so desperate for each other. It had been so long, and it was like nothing had ever gone wrong.

The two of us were in our own world, the only thing pulling us back into reality was somebody honking their horn multiple times. Luke quickly jumps away, before speeding off.

We don't acknowledge what just happened. We both keep staring straight ahead of us. Some pop song is faintly playing from the radio as Luke continues to drive.

Luke parks in the lot of the hotel, but neither of us move. The two of us clearly don't know what to say.

"I'm so sorry." I mumble, quickly getting out of the car as I realize what I had just done.

"Kelsey, wait!" Luke calls, quickly getting out of his car, slamming the door behind him.

"Luke, I'm so fucking drunk please just disregard everything that happened in that car and let me spiral to my death, I- I can't do this!" I ramble, as I stand in the middle of the parking lot.

"Please, don't say that." He begs.

"I'm so sorry, but I- I can't." I tell him, walking into the hotel.

He quickly chases me inside, not giving up on this. Once I'm on the elevator, I try to lose him when the door closes, but Luke manages to stop it.

"God, Luke." I mutter, rolling my eyes as I lean against the wall of the elevator.

"Why are you mad at me? You just fucking told me you're still in love with me and then made out with me! You can't blame me for trying to figure out what the fuck is going on!"

"I told you to forget that. None of that happened, Luke? Okay? Nothing fucking happened." I tell him, getting off the elevator, Luke quickly following behind.

"You can't expect me to just ignore this!" He quietly exclaims as we stand in the hall, waiting for me to unlock the door.

"Yes, I can." I reply opening the door, Luke following me into the room.

I drop my purse on the dresser, heading over to sit on my bed.

After everything that had just happened, made me feel sober. I know I'm not, I'm definitely still drunk.

"Kelsey, I still love you too. Please don't ignore this. Talk to me."

"You are currently the source of everything wrong in my life. I literally am no longer sober from drugs or alcohol, and fuck. Oh my god, fuck. Michael."

"Michael?" He asks.

"Oh my god. Our one year is next week and I just did what you did to me." I mutter to myself, barely acknowledging Luke is standing there.

"What are you talking about?"

"I've told you that you don't know me, Luke! Michael is my fucking boyfriend!" I scream, not able to control myself.

"What?"

I quickly walk over to my nightstand, quickly opening the baggy of cocaine I have left. I hastily pour some of the white powder onto the back of my hand. Quickly, I do drugs before Luke can even stop me.

"Kelsey!" Luke exclaims, quickly grabbing the bag from my hand.

I fall to the floor, sobbing because everything is falling apart, again. I don't know why this has to happen.

Luke sits on the ground next to me, pulling me into his lap as I continue to break down.

"I need to call Michael. I need to call Ashton. No, I need to call my boyfriend right now. I need to speak to Michael."

He sighs, "I don't think that's a good idea right now."

"Why? Why not? I'm fine. You just didn't know about him, so you don't want me to call because you love me." I cry, trying to stop my tears but being unsuccessful.

"No, Kelsey. You're just not in a good state right now." He tells me.

I keep myself curled up in Luke's arms, not knowing what I'm supposed to do.

"We're going to get you to sleep, and we'll try to figure out what to do in the morning." He tells me.

When I calm down, and when I'm not as high anymore, Luke eventually gets me into bed.

He sighs, looking down at me curled up in all of the sheets, "Goodnight, Kels. I love you."

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ok sorry so it's gonna take a lil longer for updates bc I work full-time now!! I'm gonna do the best I can tho!!!