Thick and Thin [l. hemmings]

twenty-seven

Luke parks on the side of the road outside the restaurant, but neither of us move at first.

"Should we go in?" Luke quietly chuckles, looking over at me.

Once again, I just nod, the two of us getting out of his car. We head towards the door and he opens it for me, but I stop in the middle of the sidewalk, unable to step inside, "I can't do this."

"No, Kels, please. I want to talk to you." Luke begs, his voice cracking as he tries to stay quiet.

The desperation across his face makes me sigh. He nervously looks down, running a hand through his hair. Watching him, I couldn't help but notice how much he's changed since I last saw him. His hair is long, his curls prominent now. His lip ring is missing as well. Though, it's been three years, I couldn't expect him to be the same person he was in 2015. He's not a teenager anymore.

"Kels?" Luke calls, snapping me back into reality.

"Sorry, uh... I guess so. Yeah. We should talk." I mutter, nodding.

"Great, come on." He smiles, opening the door for me again.

"Okay, yeah." I reply, walking into the restaurant.

After waiting for a few moments, we're seated at a booth, and Luke clears his throat, a smile stretching across his face, "I can't believe you're here."

I quietly chuckle, "In Seattle? I know. Never thought I'd come back."

"I mean more like sitting across from me after not speaking to me in years, but yeah." He replies, unable to take his eyes off me.

Nervously, I bite my lip. I knew talking to Luke would be difficult, but I didn't expect to struggle this much.

"How've you been, Kelsey?"

"Luke, come on..."

"Kels-"

"I'll be in the bathroom for a second. Just- order me a water." I tell him, as I stand up, I could feel a panic attack, and I wasn't going to do this in front of him.

He doesn't have the opportunity to reply because I've already taken off. I quickly enter the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror as I take deep breaths to try and calm down.

I decide to text Michael, even though we aren't necessarily in the best place right now.

'Hey, bub'

'I know you're pretty upset with me right now'

'But I love you. I felt like I really had to tell you that right now. I love you.'

Tucking my phone back into my purse, I look at myself in the mirror. Taking a deep breath, I mutter a mini pep talk to myself, "Calm down, you dumb bitch. You need to talk to him."

After a few more deep breaths I'm headed back out and sliding back into the booth.

"I ordered your water." He tells me, looking anywhere but at me.

"Thanks." I mumble, nervously biting at my lips.

"Kels, look-" Luke pauses, the waitress approaches us, placing my water onto the table, before putting down the glass beer bottle in front of Luke.

I internally sigh, staring at the alcohol only a few inches away from me. What's with these boys and having to order alcohol? What's with all the alcohol around me when I'm ready to relapse at any moment?

"You want one?" Luke asks once the waitress leaves, clearly noticing I'm staring.

I shake my head, "I'm good."