Thick and Thin [l. hemmings]

eighteen

"Don't worry. You can trust me." He chuckles, before we both begin to eat.

-

"Okay, we've binged over half a season of this show. We need a break." Michael laughs, stopping the show from automatically playing the next one.

"Okay, we'll watch a Christmas movie then."

"Let me order pizza and go grab some soda. Then we can." He laughs, getting up from the couch.

When I get a text from Kiana, I quickly open it. Worried I might react to it and if Michael were around, he'd have questions.

The information for her bridal shower is what most of the message is. It just contains the date, how it's going to be at her parents place, things like that. But then she sent another text saying she hopes I can stay a couple extra days to find me a bridesmaid dress.

School was the only things that would actually stop me, though I've been able to miss classes before without suffering too much.

Sighing, I quickly text her back letting her know I'll be there. Committing to it now means I won't be able to back or come up with some sort of excuse to not go. It's not like I don't want to, I'm just worried. I want to support Kiana, all I want is to be there for her. This is so important to her, it's important to me.

"What's going on? You look stressed." Michael asks, a small laugh leaving his lips.

I'll have to speak to him about Seattle at some point, right? Now is fine, right?

"Michael... I have to tell you something."

"Are you breaking up with me? Kels, it's Christmas, please-"

"What? No! Michael, it's not that serious, sorry for saying it like that."

"You gave me a heart attack." He replies, letting out a relieved sigh.

"I was just telling you that I'm going back to Seattle for a week. In February. I was just sent the details."

"Oh? I thought you were never going back?" Michael questions.

"Yeah. A high school friend of mine is getting married. She's asked me to help her out with some stuff for it."

"Just a high school friend? Okay." He says, clearly not believing me.

"Yeah. We were really close. I'm really glad I'm involved." I add, trying to do what I can to convince him, yet not go into detail about my past.

"Babe, are you in the wedding?" He asks, a quiet laugh leaving his lips.

"Uh. Yeah. I am." I mumble, looking around at anything but Michael.

"Kels, you can talk to me. I don't know why you don't tell me these things. I love you..."

"I love you too. I do. I just- I really don't like talking about Seattle. You know that. Going back home for this for the first time in years is going to be hard on me."

He sighs, "I know, Kelsey. It just sucks that you won't talk to me about it, but you and Ashton always talk about it."

"How do you know I talk to Ashton about Seattle?" I quickly ask, thinking I'll need to beat up Ashton when he comes back.

"I didn't. I assumed. I know now, though." He replies.

"Michael-"

"It's fine. He's your best friend. I get it. It's just- I'm your boyfriend. You're supposed to trust me with everything, you know?"

"Please don't get upset. Can we talk about this later? It's Christmas. I don't want to do this today."

"I just want to understand what's going on. That's all. Sometimes it seems like you're hiding a whole other life from me. I know you wouldn't. But that's just what it feels like."

I quickly look up in panic when he said I was hiding another life from him, but relax once he says he knows I wouldn't. Even though I sort of am, he can't know that. I'm going to divorce Luke and then that life will be gone. It'll be over, and I can be with Michael, guilt free.

"I just need time. I'll tell you eventually. I'm sorry." I mumble, avoiding looking at him.

He sighs, "It's okay. It's fine."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I love you. Okay? I love you. I know you've been through stuff. I know you can't talk about things. It's just hard to get used to that." He replies.

"I love you. I really do. We'll talk about Seattle someday. I promise." I tell him, reaching out to grab his hands, looking down at our intertwined fingers. 

"Look at me, Kelsey." Michael quietly says, gently squeezing my hands.

"I can't. I feel so bad. I'm sorry that I've put you through so much."

"Kels, babe, come on."

I finally look up at him, "I'm sorry."

"Stop. Let's forget this for now, okay? It's Christmas, let's watch Elf or something."

Nodding, I weakly smile at him. He's clearly still upset, but he knows I don't want to talk about it. I know he deserves an explanation, I can't give him one now, though. One day I will. I will.

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