Find My Way Back To You

Chapter 27

Thank you guys so much for 2k reads! Love you all. And I'm sorry that the updates come so slowly lately. My inspiration is most of the time non existent and Uni has been keeping me extremely busy.

~~~ EMMA'S POV ~~~

I set her back down in her crib and just watch her in awe for a while. She falls back asleep soon after - still holding my finger in that tiny hand of hers. Guess I have to stay here until she wakes up now. And I'm quite happy about that. I love every single excuse to spend time with my daughter - not that I would ever need an excuse.

As much as I want to get home to the rest of our family, I don't want to sacrifice spending time with Hope in the process either. She'll grow up far too fast as it is. Before I know it, she'll leave just like Henry did. And then I missed like another 10 years of his life.

With Hope, I don't want to have any regrets - time I missed with her and important stuff.

I have too many regrets when it comes to Henry already. Like if I wouldn't have given him up for adoption, if I would have kept him, I'd have gotten ten years more with him. I never would've had to share him with Regina the rest of the time either. Ultimately I would've had far more time with him.

Maybe then him leaving wouldn't make me as sad as it does now. Maybe it all wouldn't be so hard and terrifying - I doubt that, but it's possible.

Luckily I have Killian. And now also Hope. I don't think I could've survived this without them. They're my whole world. They distract me from missing Henry too much.

Technically I still get to see my little boy. He's back in Storybrooke after all. But he has his own little family, so the time we spend together isn't as much as it used to be. Now I understand my dad better, when he was acting so weird after I told him, that Killian's moving in with me.

Sure without Hope and Killian, I would also still have my parents, but that's not the same. They have each other, so I'd basically have to share them 24/7 just like Henry. Hope and Killian are all mine.

Suddenly I hear voices downstairs. I listen carefully until I can identify them as my mom and Emma.

I look at the clock. I've left her like an hour ago. And she's back already? Seems like she's making progress. It doesn't seem like talking to me freaked her out that much. Must be a good sign. I think the more Emma accepts the situation and everything, the more she'll have her magic under control.

The two of us together should be powerful enough to find me and Hope a way home. Let's just hope it'll happen soon. I really want to get back to my husband. I miss him as much as I love him, which is a lot.

Hope misses him too - her earlier crying proving as much. I hope I could have helped my little baby more then. She was able to hear his voice, but she couldn't see him. Not the real him anyway. Maybe I should take her to see Hook. But then he might talk to my past self about it and then the kiss would come up and I'd be screwed.

We just have to find a way home soon. It can't be that hard, right?

Why can't Hope's magic just freak out again and bring us home to Killian in an instant? That is if we didn't change too much here. I couldn't erase memories, if Hope took us back because I wouldn't know until it's too late.

But who knows, maybe nothing would change for the worse. Emma is here now, which means her walls are definitely shrinking and she seems to enjoy spending time with Killian - even if it still confuses her right now. But I can tell, they'd - we'd - be fine. It just takes a while, which is how it happened originally, too. So no harm done. Killian still seems to be a patient man and I trust him. It doesn't matter to me, that he is still different to my Killian. This is how he was when we first met and I always knew deep down, that I could trust him.

That's why I left him on the beanstalk after all. I was afraid because I trusted him and trust normally doesn't come easy with me. He was the rare exception, which was probably caused by our true love.

A few minutes pass and then I hear Emma walking up the stairs. She waves to me. She has a bag from Sneezy's store with her, which she sets down next to the bed. Soon she sits down next to me, looking at Hope with a smile.

Hope seems to sense her presence as she opens her eyes immediately. She isn't crying, so she wasn't woken up by noise. She just woke up like she's well rested, which is unlikely because she just fell asleep. So, she knew Emma was here and she wanted to see her. That's cute. She's the sweetest little baby and I'm not being biased here.

"Hi, Hope. Did you have a nice nap?" Emma says softly, reaching out her pointer finger to Hope's other hand. My baby grabs it - now holding on to both of our fingers tightly.

"I know you're scared about the future, but there's no need, Emma. You're great with her. She loves you. So, don't worry about anything. It'll all be okay." I say to Emma, hoping not to scare her away, but still wanting to make some progress.

"You think so?" Emma looks at me with big eyes. The expression on her face far too familiar to me - a lost girl, who didn't matter and never thought she ever would. But she does matter. She has a lot of people, who love her and who would do anything for her.

I take her hand with the hand, that isn't holding Hope's and smile at her. "You're great. And you will be fine. I know it all doesn't seem that way right now. Especially because of our track record with happiness, but you will have an amazing future. I can promise you that. You just have to believe in it." I say with determination. 

"You sound just like Henry." She laughs a little.

"Yeah, I know. He is a smart kid."

"The smartest."

We smile at each other and then keep looking at Hope for a little while.

Emma grabs the bag she brought with her.

"I hope you don't mind. I brought her a little present because she was so upset earlier. Wanted to cheer her up." Emma pulls out a swan plushie from the bag.

"That's great. She'll love it. Thank you." I hug my past self. At first she tenses for a second, but then she returns the hug.

Emma really is making a lot of progress. We might be able to go home soon after all. The more Emma loves Hope, the better her magic will work since magic is all about emotion. It's why I could only use it in the beginning, when I was protecting the people I love.

I will say though, that I will miss my past self. She's like the twin I never had with me being the first born, which is why I feel special protective of her. I don't even see her as myself. She's kind of another person to me. Maybe like a soulmate or something because we're so alike.

Emma places the swan plushie carefully next to Hope in the crib. My little angel instantly lets go of mine and Emma's hands and inspects the toy with her tiny finger.

That's weird actually because she's so small. I would've expected her to just not care about the toy for now, but she does. And it's so damn adorable.

"She loves it."