I Just Want To Be Someone. Klance AU

Chapter 12

"Lance, love. You do know you are going to have to go home at some point, right? Your parents are really worried." Hunk's mum sat right beside me, a gentle hand on my knee. Hunk was on the other sofa, watching us with narrow eyes. I didn't like that they were all watching me, waiting for me to start crying or cause a scene. My leg was bouncing up and down and I was drumming a beat with my fingers on the sofa.

Just mentioning my parents was enough to let the anxiety kick in. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't stop myself from causing a scene. My mind was racing with thoughts about my parents and it wasn't calming me down at all. My entire body was trembling and, although I wasn't crying, I felt like I was about to start. "I can't go home," My voice was a mess, representative of my mind. "They- They hate me!"

"They don't. They love you because you're their son. They do care about you, alright Lance?" She looked at me, expecting an answer, but I just glanced away. "They want to apologise."

"Yeah but only because I almost killed myself." The words lingered in the air and Hunk's mum looked reasonably shocked at how abrupt I was. I didn't even attempt to take them back because they were true. They only started to care once I had almost thrown myself off a bridge to an early death.

"That's not true. They're just scared. They don't understand what you having ADHD would involve and how it would affect them. They want what's best for you, even if it doesn't seem that way. You need to go home."

"Is this your way of kicking me out politely?"

"No, it isn't and you know that. You need to be with your parents and your siblings."

"Fine, I'll leave." I mumbled, getting up on my feet. "Just give me some more time. I'll go home tomorrow, okay? I just need... more time to think."

"We understand but... tomorrow you need to go. You can't back out at the last minute."

I nodded because I understood.

-

Sharpshooter01: Do you ever think that you're just an inconvenience to everybody? Like you disappearing would just set everyone else free?

Sharpshooter01: Do you ever feel like you're disconnected from the rest? Like everything's moving so fast but you're standing still amidst a mess?

Sharpshooter01: I have so much but it will never be enough. It will never be enough. I've got people to love but sometimes it's way too much.

Sharpshooter01: I'm tired of it all. Wish I could flick a switch and turn it all off. But I can't do that, even though I'm tempted when it gets tough.

Sharpshooter01: I'm drowning so slow and I want it to be over. But it can't end so I have to start again each morning over... and over...

Sharpshooter01: Almost threw myself off a bridge the other day but couldn't even do that right. It'd be cool to say I'm strong but I can't even bring myself to die.

RedLion2000: Sorry I was out. What's wrong?

Sharpshooter01: Nothing I was just writing a poem

RedLion2000: Do you think I'm stupid?

Sharpshooter01: No

Sharpshooter01: I think I need to kill myself

RedLion2000: No you don't. Why would you think you'd need to do something like that?

Sharpshooter01: It's just too hard for me and Hunk's parents don't want me around anymore. I'm more trouble than I'm worth to my parents and my siblings are too young to understand or care.

RedLion2000: And what about me, Lance? Why would you need to leave me?

RedLion2000: You're my first ever friend. If it wasn't for you, I'd still be sitting on my own all the time at school, listening to music all the time so I could pretend I wasn't alone. (You want to know a secret? Of course you do. That guy at the beginning of the book listening to Fall Out Boy alone? Yeah, I imagined that was Keith) You've had an amazing impact on my life too and I know you can't see that. You've made me happier too and I don't know what I would do without you. You never ever fail to put a smile on my face when you try and I think I need you. You're such an awesome person and I know you don't see it but I do. I most certainly do see it.

Sharpshooter01: You don't need to lie to me Red

RedLion2000: I'm not lying

RedLion2000: I love you so much Sharpshooter

Sharpshooter01: I love you too

RedLion2000: You don't need to kill yourself. You need to hold on because everything will be okay. I will make sure of it.

Sharpshooter01: Thank you. You're too good to me

RedLion2000: No. I'm good enough. You deserve much more than you think.

Sharpshooter01: You're making me blush this is disgusting

RedLion2000: I'm glad I can make you blush ;)

Sharpshooter01: Red's making me red

RedLion2000: HA

RedLion2000: Lance I really need to go because Shiro needs somebody to help give him advice on outfits to wear on a date and I'm his only friend. If it gets really bad and you don't feel safe, don't be afraid to message me again. I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Sharpshooter01: You being a wingman? Considering how awkward you are, I don't think that's a good idea

RedLion2000: Shut up! I've actually been on plenty of dates

Sharpshooter01: Really?

RedLion2000: Nope. I've never been on a single one

Sharpshooter01: Maybe I'll change that sometime

RedLion2000: You asking me on a date Sharpshooter?

Sharpshooter01: Ew no

Sharpshooter01: I totally just meant I'd help set you up with other guys

RedLion2000: Totally ;)

RedLion2000: See you tomorrow!

Sharpshooter01: See ya

Hi, I've got some important stuff to say so it would be cool if you read this author's note. I've decided to take a break. I have some really important exams next month that will determine whether I get into the university I want. I need to dedicate more time to revision and that means I will have to stop writing for a bit.

I might update every so often but I certainly won't be keeping my schedule. This will only be until June 20th (my last exam) so just bear with me and be patient. I'm not giving up on writing and this book WILL be finished eventually! I just need time. I hope you understand :)