The New Normal

Chapter Twenty Eight

I was listening to music when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I pulled my earbuds out of my ears and said, "Come in."

Dad poked his head behind the door. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"No," I shook my head, closing my laptop and putting it to the side. "I was just listening to music."

He nodded his head and walked into my room fully. Now that he was closer, I could see the bags under his eyes as well as his salt and pepper coloured hair was shaped like a bird's nest. He looked exhausted and I immediately felt bad that I had been wrapped up in myself, I hadn't even bothered to see how he was doing. Although I could tell he knew what I was thinking, he feigned a smile. "I've got some good news, Aunt Gina is coming down from California for a little while."

"Oh, that's awesome!" I responded. "When is she coming?"

Dad rubbed his jaw with his left hand, cocking his head to the right. "In two weeks. She wants to be here for Christmas. I think it'll be good for her, you know, to be with family."

"For sure," I said. Aunt Gina was usually alone for the holidays and although it was by choice, she claimed she didn't anyone to keep her company, I still believed that she would get lonely at some point. I wasn't much company last Christmas when I was living with her. Maybe now I could make it up to her this year.

"Anyway, how are you doing Juliet?" My dad asked and I could tell my usual response of, 'I'm fine,' would not do.

I stretched out on my bed and shrugged. "I'm okay. It's strange, everything is so different but in a familiar place. Sometimes, it doesn't feel real. Like, I'll wake up and everything would go back to normal. Ariel and I would be friends, Tyler and I would go back to being basically strangers, and Blake and I, we would, Lord help me, we would be together."

Dad chuckled at the last part and eyed me with genuine curiosity. "But do you wish things would go back to normal?"

"I do miss Ariel, I'm not going to lie," I answered. However, when I thought back to mine and Tyler's conversation last weekend, when he had said I was cute, well, not just cute, but jealous too, I smiled. "But, I wouldn't want to go back. I like where I'm right now, I feel different and at first I didn't know if it was a good different, but now I know it is. I like my friends, I like my job — even if Tyler thinks I suck at baking — and I like school. It's like things are settling into a new normal. And I really like where it's heading."

My father nodded his head thoughtfully and let out a breath I think he had been holding in, probably worrying about my answer but relieved to find out it wasn't a bad one.

I looked him over as he stood to leave my room. "How about you, Dad? How are you doing?"

"I'm not going to lie, it's been hard, JuJube." He leaned against my door frame. "But, it's nothing I haven't faced before. I lost your mother long ago and I felt like I could never go on without her, but time proved to be the remedy for my grief. I know things will get easier for us, we just need a little time."

"I know," I sighed. "But do you think they're watching over us? Mom and Tris, I mean."

Dad smiled a little. "You and your brother were young when your mother passed, but I know she would have loved to see how amazing you both turned out to be. And now, she has the chance. They're watching us, JuJube, and I have all the confidence in the world that they're smiling when they do."

After my conversation with Dad, I felt like I needed to go somewhere I hadn't been in a long time.

I knocked on the door and when I received silence, I turned around and began to walk down the driveway. It was stupid, really, that I thought they'd be home. But just as I was about to step off of the driveway, I heard the door open. "Juliet, is that you?"

I turned slowly with a hesitant smile. "It's me, in the flesh."

Ariel gave me a small smile. "Do you want to come in?"

"Sure," I said. "That would be nice."

I walked back to the house and was greeted with warmth. It had been freezing outside, the November weather hitting colder than usual this year and I was glad to be somewhere warm.

Ariel led me to the living room and paused whatever was playing on the television. "So, what's up?"

"Um," I drawled. Honestly, I didn't think this far ahead. "I don't really know. I just... I—"

"I'm sorry," Ariel cut me off. "Juliet, I am so damn sorry for what I did. It was such a shitty thing to do and I know it was wrong and I don't expect you to forgive me. I just wanted you to know how truly sorry I am for causing you pain when you were already going through enough. It wasn't fair to you."

I stayed silent, taking in everything she had said. I stared into her blue eyes and I could tell she was being genuine. Although it absolutely sucked to be led on by your best friend and ex boyfriend, I could tell she felt awful about it. It wasn't something I'd likely forget, but it was something I could forgive her for. "I forgive you. Though, I can't say the same for Blake. He said some pretty personal things to me that night I found out and some pretty personal things about me after it happened."

Ariel nodded her head. "I know, God, I know. He can suck sometimes. If it makes you feel better, I talked to him about it. He hasn't said anything about you since."

It didn't make me feel better but for Ariel to talk to him even when were were fighting did. "Thanks, Ari. But tell me, are you genuinely happy with him?"

She looked conflicted and I knew it was because she was scared to give me an answer I may not like. "I am, J. I am really happy and I didn't think I would be ever again after Tris... I'm sorry."

"Hey," I said, punching her lightly in the shoulder. "Don't ever apologize for being happy. Tris would have wanted you, would have wanted everyone who was impacted by his death, to be happy and move on."

Tears started streaming down Ariel's face and tears sprung to mine. We embraced each other in a tight hug and after a few minutes we sunk to our knees, still hugging and still crying.

Chad came thumping down the stairs, a half eaten bagel in hand as he stared at us with wide eyes. "Christ, what the hell happened?"