Dallas, TX (EDITING)

Chapter 12: "Ten Steps Back."

Dre In The Multimedia 

-

Dallas, TX
Friday, May 21, 2018 
6:52 pm 

LYRIC. 

A week and five days have passed since Divine and I stopped having sex. It wasn't just twelve days that passed, but today marks the fourteenth day. I was getting paranoid. Not because my period was late, which was regular to me, but the fact that I felt weird. Maybe I was overthinking and imagining it but my body started to feel as if it was going through changes.

I had my period symptoms. The early cramps before my period started, the tender breasts, bloating, and mood swings; but it wasn't just that. It felt...different and to add onto that, I was always tired, lightheaded, and got this sour ass taste in my mouth. I was in denial of it for the past five days but I knew I had to do something about it soon. I never thought about having an abortion because I've always told myself I wouldn't get that far, but I was sure as hell not keeping a baby if in the end I was pregnant.

I took a deep breath and tucked away my thoughts before jogging downstairs and putting on my shoes. It was a Friday night, the night Dee and his boys invited me to go bowling. I couldn't possibly let Dee know what was going on so I had to pretend like everything was okay.

"Where are you going?" Mira asked me as she came in from the kitchen, munching on her burrito.

"Bowling alley with a few friends," I said back.

"Oh, the one over there on Turtle Creek?"

"Think so"

"Have fun. And be safe with those new friends of yours" she smiled as she walked back into the kitchen.

"Yeah yeah," I grabbed my backpack and walked out of the front door, locking it behind me. I started walking towards Omari's car and instantly the thing Dee said to me about him ran through my head once again. I wasn't a liar, and I hated keeping secrets overall. With the stress of trying to keep Mari's and I's relationship just as friends and the stress of figuring out if I was actually pregnant was killing me inside and I knew I was going to explode if I didn't straighten this shit out.

I felt as if I wasn't in control over my life. There were so many decisions I was making and had to make but I had nobody to run or talk to without feeling judged to discuss those decisions with. I felt as if I couldn't trust anyone. And I haven't even talked to my mother in a while. What would happen when she calls me on her own and asks how I'm doing? I couldn't lie to her. But once again, I shrugged off my thoughts for later and hopped in Omari's car.

"Took yo ass long enough" Omari chuckled as he pulled off.

"Yeah," I said dryly. I tried to play cool and I've been trying to play around in the friendliest way possible so he could get the memo.

He looked at me weirdly before he looked back onto the road. The weird thing about riding with Mari is that he doesn't play any music while we're in his car which made it awkward. We were five minutes into the drive when we stopped at a red light and he looked at me again. "What's up with you?" 

"Huh?" I said, looking straight. "There's nothing wrong"

"Lyric, I've dealt with all different types of your attitude since I met you to know when something is wrong. You've been acting weird lately. Now I'm asking what's up with you, and I'm not taking 'drop it' for an answer"

I fiddled with my fingers as I looked down. "Nothing is wrong" I repeated. 

"Lyric, tell me" he said as the light turned green.