Forever {Cashton 5SOS}

Chapter 18

Ashton's POV.

The past few weeks have been great. Calum has been trying to get me to eat and as far as he knows I have been. I suppose I should further explain. Ever since we had the pizza a while ago he hasn't been breathing down my neck while I "eat" he just been watching to make sure my food isn't all there when I go to clean up, so all I have to do to avoid eating is place a napkin on my lap and bring the food to my lips, but not take a bite. Then I simply drop it into my lap and when I go to wash my dish I just throw away the napkin and all the food in it. This way Calum's happy and I'm able to feel good about myself.

There have also been a few times where I've had to actually eat it, but I've always had to make sure it comes back up. There have been times where I've puked until nothing but blood came out. I know it's not good for my throat, but I just want to be skinny. It's not working though. No matter how little I eat, all I see when I look in the mirror is fat.

Anyways, since I just went to my last therapy session the guys thought it'd be a great idea to go out to a club and celebrate. I don't plan on drinking because the alcohol will not help with my weight situation seeing as though it's mostly sugar, but I'm sure everyone else will be drunk when we get home. I hate when people get drunk they always do something they regret, which is another reason I will not be drinking.

I really hope Calum doesn't drink too much because I've seen him when he's had too much to drink. There are five kinds of drunk people. Silly drunks. Angry drunks. Depressed drunks. Tired drunks. Lastly, we have the sexual drunks. Calum just so happens to be the sexual drunk.

It's not that I don't want to have sex with him because believe me, I do. I just don't want to have sex with him if he's not going to remember it in the morning.

Even though I'm a bit anxious about tonight, I'm sure we'll have a great time.

As I lay on my bed thinking about what tonight will be like I hear a knock at the door. "Come in!" I say loud enough so that the person outside my door can hear me.

The door nod turns and the door opens with a creak. In walks the perfection I am lucky enough to call my boyfriend. I sit up while he's walking over to my bed.

"Hey, Ash." he says and pecks my nose as he sits next to me. "I have a question."

I hope it's not about my eating. I don't enjoy deceiving him, but I want him to be happy and I'm sure having a fat lard as a boyfriend doesn't make him happy. I'm not just doing this for me, I'm doing it for him too. "What is it?" I ask curiously.

"Do you think I could maybe bring one of my old friends from back home to the club with us?" Honest, I don't really want his friend to come because then he won't be talking to me as much. If I tell him that though, he'll think I'm overly attached and annoying. Then he might leave me and that's the last thing I want.

"I don't mind." I tell him even though I really do. It's not going to be as fun now, but as long as Calum's happy, then I'm happy.

"Thank you!" he says and hugs me. "It's just that I haven't hung out with her in a long time and she's only going to be in London for a little bit, so I thought since she was here and I was here that it'd be nice to see her."'

Her. His friend is a girl. I know I shouldn't be jealous, but I am. Calum likes me now, but it could only be because he hasn't really been around very many girls his age for a really long time. I know it's wrong to not trust him, but I can't get this uneasy feeling out of my body. "It's fine." I say with a fake smile.

He looks at me like he can tell what I'm thinking. He leans over and hugs me tightly, whispering in my ear saying, "She's only a friend. I'm gay. Homosexual. Actually, I'm Ashton-sexual. I'm only attracted to you and no one else." He let's me out of his arms, but sits closer than he was before. Then he continues, looking deep in my eyes and cupping my cheek with his left hand, "I don't want to stare lovingly into anyone else's eyes, but your's. I don't want to fall asleep holding anyone, but you. I don't want to feel anyone's lips touch my own other than you." This is the last thing he says before crashing his lips onto mine passionately, as if to show how much he loves me. Calum's the only person to ever make me feel genuinely feel wanted.