Finding Camila Cabello Camila/You

Courage

"I'm sorry," she apologized, running her fingers through her hair. She pulled her knees against her chest. "After all that's happened tonight, I just want to sleep."

Shawn nodded, "Yeah, no problem, I understand," he arranged the pillows on the bed and tucked her in. "Get some rest. We have a long day tomorrow."

He kissed her on the forehead and turned around to switch off the lamp. Camila closed her eyes and waited for sleep to take its course.

Y/n returned to Normani's house. She walked out of the arena and ignored all the calls and looks of concern; she just needed to get away. She could've sworn that room was caving in on her. She raided the bar and pulled out an old bottle of single-malt scotch. Pouring herself glass after glass, she was intoxicated by the time Normani and Dinah arrived home.

The couple walked into the room, littered with broken, empty bottles, and found Y/n collapsed on the couch. She took the cigarette between her fingers and brought it up for a puff, but not before Normani yanked it away. It had been years since Y/n's last cigarette – not since she was in that dark chapter in her high school days.

"Y/n, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Where's Camila?"

Y/n shrugged, and took a swig straight from the bottle. "Probably fucking Mendes."

Dinah slapped her hard across the cheek. It was an instinctive reaction. She promised that she would never allow Y/n to hurt Camila, and judging from the way she appeared tonight, it wouldn't be farfetched to assume she had hurt her. Y/n winced in pain before she stood up and met her cold stare. Normani pushed the two apart. She pushed her best friend against the wall.

"Where's Camila?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

Y/n struggled to get out of Normani's grasp. She was too inebriated to find the strength to push her away. "I left the party. Last I saw her, she was talking with Shawn."

"So she's with Mendes?"

"No, she's with Perez." Y/n let out a loud laugh, before leaning her head back against the wall. She exhaled deeply when Normani let go of her shirt and stepped back.

"Why was she with Shawn?"

"They were talking about love and shit," Y/n rolled her eyes, "He was trying to convince her what a sociopathic asshole I am and he was all like, 'what does she have that I don't?' – the fucking bastard..." she trailed off.

"What did she say?" Dinah asked.

Y/n laughed, "She told him that she loves me." She fell back on the couch and ceased her fit of laughter. She looked up to see the baffled expressions on Normani and Dinah's faces. "She loves me? She chose me – the cheater and the prick – over Shawn fucking Mendes. You have to admit; that's fucking hilarious."

"What is wrong with you?" Dinah cried in disbelief, "So you didn't say it back? You didn't tell her you love her too?"

Y/n looked at her questioningly. "I don't love. Don't you get it, Dinah? I did her a favor. I left because she was feeling things for me that I could never return, while Shawn was out there pouring his heart out to her. I gave her to Shawn! I wasn't being selfish." Y/n sighed and rubbed her face in her hands.

"No," Dinah shook her head, looking at her with disgust and contempt, "you were being selfish. You did what you did to because you're too afraid to admit that you love her. You're too afraid to look weak, to get hurt..."

"She's right," Normani chimed in, "You've been running from your emotions ever since your divorce. Camila is the first real relationship that you could have had and you blew it."