Identical Memories (An OHSHC Fanfic) [Completed]

Chapter Nine

Eri

The logical part of my mind reminded me that even if I refused to get in the car now, I would eventually have to see them. I didn’t have a chance of avoiding them when we’d be living in the same house from now on. At the same time, despite it having been two years since seeing Hiroshi and… Kitaru, I would have rather have told Emi about the blood than have to see them. With all of this running through my mind I didn’t even bother to make an effort to seem fine this time around.

“I’ll be here,” Emi murmured as the car drove up our drive. “Don’t worry. I’ll be here with you.”

My eyes were stuck on the house as it came closer. Every inch that closed between us and the house felt like a blade being shoved further and further into my heart.

I can’t do this.

I could feel my heart begin to race as my mouth went dry.

I can’t see him.

“Calm down,” Emi demanded.

Not bothering to look at her, I tucked my head under my arms in an attempt to draw a breath, something that had suddenly become hard to do. Within seconds the lack of air was making my head spin. I couldn’t do this. It’d be better to die here than to have to go in there and face him. I couldn’t handle it, I just couldn’t.

“Eri.”

I was pulled towards her. I didn’t bother to stop it as Emi wrapped one arm around my back, her opposite hand stroking my hair. She began to whisper out gentle, soothing words that didn’t quite make sense to my panicked mind. At the same time I felt it suddenly become slightly easier to breathe, albeit just a little. The shaking didn’t stop, however, nor did the dizziness.

“I can’t,” I managed to tell her.

My eyes caught sight of her expression as it tensed. Emi’s eyes flickered out the window and I realized then that the car had come to a stop. The driver had already gotten out to open the door for us.

“I’m sorry,” she said finally. “I wish I could make it so you didn’t have to face them, but I can’t. You know how he and Hiroshi are. If you don’t face them now, they’ll make sure to find you just out of spite.”

I knew that. Did she think it was possible that I didn’t know that?

It didn’t mean I could make myself move from my position tucked against her. My head was laid on Emi’s chest, my body curled against her side. How could I ever leave the safety I felt here for the house that now seemed anything but?

“I’m sorry,” she repeated.

Then she drew away. Her hand stayed on my head, but her other, now free hand, grabbed my arm to make sure I followed her out. Reluctantly, I allowed her to pull me with her. As soon as my feet touched the ground I felt as if my knees were going to give out as hard as my body was shaking. The dizziness suddenly grew, my calmed breathing suddenly turning into panicked gasps.

Someone was opening the front door.

I couldn’t do this.

“Eri?”

She tugged me a few steps forward.

I couldn’t.

I couldn’t ever see him.

Him or Hiroshi.

“I c-can’t…” the words came out as nothing more than a soft, strangled whisper. I doubt even Emi could understand them.