Finale

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FINALE

  Justin

Love.

It's a strong feeling and powerful word.

It's a thing that could make you or break you.

You could love someone so much that if they do something really bad ,love will see past it.

Love is blind.

Love makes you feel safe wherever you are.

You could be in a sinking ship with the person you love and it makes it that little bit better.

Titanic.

Love is a lot of things but the thing I would describe it as is a battle. When you love something it's never an easy ride, things are always trying to pull you down and ruin that love. Whether it's love for a friend, a lover, or family. It's always hard and I had to find that out thought out my life. I lost a lot of people that I loved.

A love like a war.

20th of April

Jonah's birthday

Anivercery Jaia's death   

One 1/2 years after Jaylen was born

Justin's POV

I have stared at ceilings many times in my life but never have I ever cared about the ceiling I was staring at. My eyes would seem to be looking at it but my heart, mind and soul were somewhere else, usually thinking about my life. I would often think about things that could never happen like if I had never choose fame over Ocean would my jaia still be here or if I hadn't have went after Ocean that one night when she was lost, would I even have lived to this age.

When I'm lying staring at that ceiling, it gives me a sense of freedom in my messed up mind it's clear for that time because until Ocean wakes from her slumber, there is nothing to distract me.

What seems to be playing on my mind today was Jonah it's was his  birthday but also the day his sister died. Jonah put on a brave face when it came to subject Jaia. People would bring her up and he would just sit there with a weak smile on his face pretending like he was over it, pretend like it was okay. To know the truth you would have to listen to him at the night ,when he was alone in his room. You would hear things being thrown around, then a pause then loud crying. That's when me or his mother would step in and just go and hug him and talk with him. It used to happen a lot but ever since Lilly came into his life things just seemed a little happier with Jonah.

His last birthday Lilly hadn't been around that long so when Jonah freaked she couldn't handle it and she was kinda freaked  out  herself. Jonah soon calmed down once he saw that Lilly was crying and although he was distraught he still cared about her feelings.

Hopefully this year Jonah wouldn't take it so hard but who knows he switches so easily.

I turned my head to look at the clock. 10am. I guess it was time to get up. I sat up and stretched, and with a loud yawn I pulled the blankets of my legs and got out of bed. As I did Ocean woke up looking as beautiful as ever. I don't know how she dose it but she dose, she wakes up looking so great and healthy. When I wake up I look like I had just been dragged through five bushes and then slept on the street for a week.

As she woke up with such grace and elegance I made my way to our on suite bathroom to use the toilet. Once I had finished, I took my pills, one for depression and one for my anger. You may be thinking 'it's been years and your still taking them' the actual fact is after jaia died there were some very dark days and I actually couldn't bare to get out of my bed or move or eat ,everything just seemed pointless. So I went to go and see the doctors again and well they gave me these to take. It was actually my last few days taking them and things should be fine. I took the pills and then walked out to Ocean who was sitting in her sponge bob pjs.

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