STIGMA

Chapter 31

    Zayn sat on his bed lost in the bottle of vodka as Amirah rushed in. There was something scary about the way she looked at him after screaming that made him lost his mind the more. I have succeeded in doing it again.

    "Zayn what is wrong with you" she said crying and once more I hated myself. I hated the fact that I was responsible for her tears

    "Baby please talk to me" she said kneeling close to me. I tried to find the best words to use but I couldn't justify a thing. "You can talk to me, just let me help you baby" and that was when I found myself saying "Am tired" with a shaky voice

    "Then let me help you through it" She said cupping my hands in hers.

    "I..i...I can't do it again"

     "Trust me you can talk to me" she assured as i dropped  the bottle and adjusted a little

    "My mum was unable to conceive after 10 years of marriage and my father's family wouldn't hear of it. They called her names and made life unbearable for her and my father never stood up for her" he screamed at this point and I tried to calm him as I held his hands tightly. "Then she went for all the medical helps she could get and finally I was born but it came with a price. She was infected with HPV (Human papiloma virus) which lead to ovarian cancer. I was only blessed with a few years to enjoy the joy of a mother because she was always in and out of the hospital. My dad never cared much and he always look at me like a child that was cursed." I could see the tears in his eyes as he tried not to cry out.
   "Everything changed the day my mum was rushed to the hospital and she never came back. My dad was broken and he hated me the more. I was sent to a boarding school and had most of my holidays at ummah's house. I still can't forgive myself for causing such pain to my mum and today.... today....when I looked at my dad I saw the same hatred from 10 years ago". He let the tears flow like a toddler who is hungry for milk and I allowed him to cry out every single pain on me.

   "Baby you can never be a curse because you are a beautiful creation of Allah. I don't know why your Dad did what he did but I am very sure he don't hate you and for your late mother (May her soul rest in jannah) wanted you no matter what price it came with. Alcohol is never a cure to depression so am begging you baby do not allow the devil use you" I pleaded.

   He stared at me with a profound expression without saying a word. "I know how hard it is to feel unwanted but right now you are not alone" I continued trying as much as possible to get his attention "please baby let me help you"

     " I can't be helped Amirah" he said hopelessly

   "If I can be helped then you are no different....and I won't rest till the day I lift you out of this mess" I said before picking the empty bottles, as the strong intoxicating smell hit my nose I wonder how people find comfort in this " get up and take your bath" I said looking serious and to my surprise he went to the bathroom straight without a word.

      The morning came so fast and so bright. It seemed akward with Zayn and even when I came into his room after getting dressed to check on him. He was just sitting there like a statue without a word he picked his car key and opened the door for me.

   
    Ten years of pain, ten years of silence, ten years of been unable to breath properly, ten years of knowing death was close, ten years of seeing the monster. He was no different like ten years ago just a little bit of old age showing in his face. My aunt stood in the audience crying and I felt pity on her. The pity she never showed me.

   "Miss Amirah Ahmad can you please tell this honourable court the story behind your accusation on Alhaji Tukur Maibasira" the barrister I meet few minutes ago before going into the court room asked with that Same smile she gave me earlier. She seemed nice and professional I thought to myself

  "Ten years ago when I lost my parents I had no choice but to stay with my aunt. She was like a mother to me, giving me all the care and attention until that faithful................" I narrated every single event as most of the people at the court where moved to tears

   The judge looked shocked and at the same time disappointed. He adjusted his glasses as he looked at Alhaji Tukur with anger before asking with a keen tone. " Alhaji Tukur Maibasira do you plead guilty or not guilty based on the charges placed on you"

    "Guilty your honor" he said to everyone's surprise

     "Good...good! " The judge repeated nodding his head in confirmation "do you have anything you would like to say to this honourable court"  the judge asked

   He looked at me with pain and guilt " am sorry" he said trying to hide his tears

   "Owkkk....at least you know you have wronged someone. Based on the charges placed on you and from every evidence proven right. You are hereby sentenced to life imprisonment. I guess this should be a lesson to people that think money and power is everything" the judge added as he pronounced the sentence

    Just as I stood up to walk out of the Court room thinking of how easy and fulfilling this was for me I felt a hand holding my legs. "Haba anty, please stand up" I said trying to drag her from the ground

   "No... please let me be like this, maybe God can be merciful and forgive my crimes" she wiped her running nose with the edge of her wrapper.

   "I have forgiven you for a long time and that is why I could survive so you need to forgive yourself and plead to Allah for mercies" I replied

" I am sorry I was wrong, I couldn't even take care of you. I throw away the one thing that could have been a blessing to me" she said still  crying

   "Anty it is fine and I have really forgiven you" i said picking her from the floor just when Zayn came over.

   "Baby it's time to go" he informed

    "Anty I would like you to meet my fiance Zayn Abdullah and Zayn this is Mrs Tukur my aunt I told you about" I introduced as Zayn prostrated in greetings while my aunt looked at him eyes wide open.

    "Amirah you want to marry an Arab man" anty asked still looking surprised