Married To My Cousin

Reconciliation

      Haidar

     Its been two weeks since jamaima left. We talk everyday, spending hours on video call. I really miss that young lady, it feels like a part of me has been taken away.

      Zahra has been constant to my house, sending apology letters, peace offerings, treats and what not. I fired her the next morning.

      She had the guts to walk into my company after what she did. Today on the other hand was different, she came with tears in her eyes and a home cooked meal.

     She said 'To Allah' she'd leave me alone if I accept her apology. So I let her in, she began to sob even more.

     "Haidar Dan Allah ka yafe mun; Haidar for God sake forgive me" I was shocked for in my years of knowing Zahra, she had never said a Hausa word. It was like she has forgotten how to speak Hausa or she never knew how.

     She has also never been much of the religious type so she barely talks about God. I sigh and collapse into the furthest seat from her.

     "I will forgive you...." I started

     "Thank y...." I cut her off

     "If....and only if you promise to leave me alone. Please leave my life and I shall forgive you"

      She sighs " I will. If it means you'll forgive me, been at least eat my food. Consider it an act of closure for our years of friendship "

       I was not hungry but I accepted. I took a few bites and stored the remaining in the fridge.

      " You may leave. I have eaten and our friendship is now gone" I say icily

      She nods " Thank you fro your love and friendship haidar"

      My head begins to pound as I try to speak, I get dizzy....it felt like the room was turning, things became blurry and I try to hold onto something. I fall to the ground and the last thing i see is Zahra smirk before i blacked out.

*****

My eyes feel heavy as I try to open them. My head feels like I had a hangover, I've never had one but guys in school said it was bad. And I'm guessing it feels like what I'm feeling now.

     Last night was a half night in my mind. All I could remember was passing out while zahra hovered over me. Zahra? ZAHRA! I suddenly remember and my eyes fly open.

      My worst nightmare, I sit up and when I see her laying beside me. Half naked. NO! NO! I shake my head and peel the sheets of my body, I was also half naked. Ya salam! This can't be happening, this couldn't have happened.
      
        My eyes begin to sting and tears well up in them.

      I might not be the most religious person but I would never sleep with a woman that wasn't my wife, I know I did nothing.

     Zahra must be playing a sick game. I got dizzy after eating her food, Ya Rabbi this woman! I looked at her and anger cloaked my eyes. I laid a head breaking slap across her face. She lets out an ear piercing scream and clasped her hand over her burning cheek.

      "What the hell!" She yelled

     I stand up from the bed and distance my self from her then scream at the top of my voice " Kipita kibarmun gida Azalluma qazama mai qazamin halli. Kin chuce ni Zahra!;Leave my house you wicked,disgusting person. You ruined me Zahra!"

     She smirks and gets up "last night... was a night to remember" she grabs her things and walk out the door.

      I fall to my knees and begin to cry. "No!'' I wispher-yell  to myself, I shake my head so fast I felt a vein in my neck snap.

      I'm ruined, done for.

******
    I scrub my body for hours while crying in the shower. I feel dirty, my body feels disgusting. No matter how much I scrub I can't wash my sins away... "I shouldn't have let her in.." I cry

      My head was throbbing but I didn't care, I shouted and screamed out my pain but it wouldn't go away. I feel raped. Zahra raped me....

      I sat on my dadduma;mat all day,not moving to eat nor to drink. I cry to my lord and beg him to forgive me.

      I fall asleep and images of jamaima crept through my brain. That's when I remembered, she must have been calling all day. I find my  phone, '10 missed calls from baby'

       It was late in the night and I know she must be worried, she must still be awake,waiting to hear if I'm alright. But I can't bring myself to call her, I don't have the voice to tell her. My brain is swollen and so are my eyes. I have never cried so much in my life and I hope I never have to....ever again.

    My head is pounding mercilessly and I just slip back into self pity till I fall asleep. Being awake is a nightmare but sleeping is worst, the fear of waking up to the nightmare is overwhelming.

       I might cry a river but things won't change. I need to go back home, I need the mental support. Or I will breakdown....I already have.

     To all the Zahra's out there: I love you and I know y'all are good people. Don't be offended this Zahra is bad.

     Haidar's pain is heartbreaking. How could Zahra do this......

    Next chap! 📓