if mei found Yuzu's letter

If Mei found Yuzu's letter pt 42

If the roles were reversed...

the talk about the letter was bound to come sooner or later, Yuzu preferred that it wouldn't happen now, She did say that they needed to start communicating better and try to understand each other 

Mei sat by Yuzu drinking a cup of tea, waiting for Yuzu to think of something to say

Yuzu was having her hands fidgeting cause she didn't know how to start the conversation with Mei

she looked at the ceiling for a bit before collecting all her thoughts, when she found her train of thought, she looked at mei carefully

"what do you want to know about the letter i left you?what do you exactly want to know?"

Mei drank her tea and then placing her cup on the coaster, she looked at Yuzu and held her hand

"I Just want to know why you abandoned your post. Were you really ready to leave me behind when i really needed you the most?"

Yuzu sighed

"Mei at the time, i didn't if i was going or coming with you, you constantly pushed me away, you always put the distance between us, there were days i was ready to leave and not come back, i mean why should i have come back? 

You were going to get married to the  manager. It wouldn't have made sense for me to stay in this house knowing you were going to be married. 

Do you think it would have been fair to me that you were going to get married and i couldn't touch you or be romantic with you?

I did what i had to do mei, i left you a letter to tell you my deepest fears, desires and feelings, i wasn't going to attend the wedding anyways, gramps wouldn't have wanted me to.  He is a powerful man that make me disappear and you would never hear from me again, then again knowing you, you probably would have been better off without me.

You weren't concerned about my feelings, you were more concerned about the academy then whatever we had going on. 

You didn't possibly think i wasn't afraid of the change that was going to happen, I was more scared-- no TERRIFIED of the change, The moment you would have went through with the marriage, it was going to be game over for me, I have always told you i have no real standings in the Aihara family, you know that to be true, i can never ever ever truly be myself, i have to force myself to be who i am not, I have to follow gramps rules and stuff. 

If forcing myself to be who i wanna be just to be with you then so be it, i may not be happy about it but if its to seriously be with you and have nobody get in our way then i have to so what i have to do, Gramps may not accept me or be fond of  me, I have accepted it and i have to deal with it on my own, The letter was to show you that we were done and we couldn't continue anymore, i gave you my blessing to get married to the manager, I seriously didn't think i was going to love again, then Lisa came into my life helped me straighten up, she made me feel so secure and wanted and loved.

At the time you didn't show an ounce of what i needed to feel, you just kept insisting that i was a bother, a pain in the neck, you only kissed me to shut me up, You said we're sisters and we shouldn't have physical contact with each other, i wanted to give up so badly, my life is my own and so i left hoping you felt some type of pain, the same pain i felt when you kept pushing me away, once you accepted the engagement, i had to pack up my stuff and start everything all over.

Our lives weren't supposed to come back, we were supposed to go our separate ways forever, i wasn't supposed to come back here. You made me suffer a lot mei, you crushed me in ways that i couldn't handle.  You made me go through hell. All i did was try to love you but you wouldn't let me do that much.

she started crying because everything she said was true to her heart and what she had locked up for so long that it was killing her from the inside

Mei had that worried look on her face, but she knew Yuzu was was right,

She had really put Yuzu through hell for her own selfish reasons and kept Yuzu at arms length to keep herself protected, she didn't know that Yuzu was really suffering for so long being in this family that she didn't ask to be thrown into cause their parents got married

Yuzu didn't ask for this, mei knew if their parents hadn't gotten married, they wouldn't be in this mess, Now that everything is out in the open, they had to figure out where do they go from here

she grabbed Yuzu's hand  rubbing it slowly

I am sorry Yuzu for everything, I didn't think you were suffering this much for so long.

Yuzu i want you to be who you are, that's the person i fell for, that's the person i want to marry, you don't have to seek grandfather's approval, we are getting married, He has accepted you already, Be the Yuzu i fell for, I love you for you and for who you are, We are in this together, together forever till death does us part, but in our case death isn't gonna separate us, I love you Yuzu Aihara, You are my world and my everything, i cant wait for us to say i do and go on our honeymoon. I want us to reach that height of passion we never reached before.

Yuzu felt mei's hand, it was warm for the first time, equally matching her warmth of her own hand

Your hand is so warm mei, I mean it's seriously warm.

Mei nodded

I love you Yuzu with everything i have.

Yuzu cheered up a bit

I love you too mei, with everything i have.